Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

It's been a whirlwind of a year.  I can't believe how fast yet another one has flown by.  I just went through my blog to find my weight at the end of 2013 and had some awesome reminders of things I did last year and where I wanted to be this year. I was sad to see that at the end of last year I proclaimed that my resolution for 2014 was to be at my GOAL WEIGHT by my 2 year bandiversary and that did not happen.  In fact, on my 2 year bandiversary, I was preparing for revision.  Things happen and I guess I can't kick myself too hard considering I had no control over the device in my body beginning to malfunction.  So I'm not at my goal weight, but I am in a SLIGHTLY  better place (weight-wise) than I was at the end of 2013.  VERY SLIGHT, but still, better. At the end of 2013, I weighed 241.2. Today, I weighed 236.8. That's right folks, I lost a total of 4.4 pounds in 2014.  lol, sad .  But a lot happened in 2014, I gained weight as I fou...

Hey guys!  I'm still here! I hope you all haven't forgotten about me.  I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged.  Quite frankly, I've had a lot that I've wanted to keep private, so I just haven't come here because I knew I'd have the urge to write about things that I'm not ready to write about yet. On the weight loss front, not a lot has been happening.  Thanks holidays!  I haven't even weighed myself in about a week, which is scary and I need to get on that, which is even more frightening.  For the sake of my Diet Bet, I need to do it though!  I'll bite the bullet tonight or tomorrow morning. Last Monday I had my gallbladder removed.  It was a easy peasy.  No problems, not much pain.  I'm really fortunate to have a very high pain tolerance. I recently learned of a beautiful thing.  Have you all heard of VIRTUAL races where one can earn medals?  Let me be honest and say that I'm a bling whore, and I have alr...

Womp Womp.... As suspected, the ultrasound came back positive for gallstones. At least that explains why I've been in such pain. Gallbladder will be gone soon.  

Has it really been almost 3 months since my revision?  Time flies! Today I have my 3 month nutrition follow up.  The nutrition appointments have felt kind of pointless to me in the past, maybe because I've been doing this for so long and everyone else in the classes have been new, but now that everyone is 3 months out, maybe I'll be able to get more out of it. Wednesday I have an ultrasound scheduled to check out my gallbladder to see if that's what's been causing my pain.  I'll update you all. Next week I will have the follow-up with my surgeon's PA.  I am curious what she'll have to say.  I don't know if I'm where they expected me to be.  I'm definitely not as far along in the weight loss as I expected.  But I happily don't have all of my lap band problems, so that's great. -No more stuck episodes. -No more PB episodes.  (Do you all remember that time I PB'd down my shirt to hide it from a date?!) -No more fear of food. -N...

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with friends and family ....and not too much food! This was my first holiday since the revision, and it was great!  There was more than one remark about how nice it was that I didn't spend half of the time in the bathroom trying to get food 'un-stuck' from my band.  I didn't get sick once. I am beginning to wonder if I have gallstones though, from this stabbing pain I sometimes get on my right side right under my rib cage.  I have my 3 month follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks, but emailed my surgeon today to see if he'd like me to come in earlier.

I forgot that heart ache is a really good weight loss plan for me. It's been quite some time since I felt true heartache like this. When I found out that my last ex was married, I couldn't keep food down for several weeks and lost about 30 pounds in that first month. So I thought there was no way I was going to make my DietBet goal last week. The round 1 goal was 3% loss...which put me at 239.4. I weighed in Friday morning at 237.4. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! It still sucks that I'm going through this hurt from losing Mr. Banker, but at least I'm losing weight.  My eating and sleep patterns are all off.  I hope I can get them under control soon.  I can't sleep, it's hard to focus, and food isn't that appealing to me right now. I really miss him.

Colorado will never be Texas.  It doesn't matter how long I wait for it to be, or how much I want it to be, Colorado just can't ever be Texas. And Texas is so much better than Colorado ever could be. I'm sure you're all wondering what I'm talking about, and wondering if it's Mr. Banker, and in some ways it is, and in some ways it isn't.  This is someone else's story.  I'm not going to link her blog, but if you have read other Banded Sisters blogs, you may know this story already.  This blogger gave her time and affection to Colorado for a very long time and he never wanted to be more than friends.  I know that feeling... Mr. Banker is my Colorado.  When she decided to give up Colorado, she met Texas.  And Texas was better in every way than Colorado ever could've been.  My dearest blogger friend married her Texas after 5 months of dating and they became parents a little over a year after marriage. This story reminds me that no matter how muc...

I'm feeling very frustrated, so I'm taking my 15 minute work break to get it all out, and hope that's the 'woosa' I need to get over it. I had a great weekend... much better than I anticipated by any stretch of the imagination, so I thought that meant it was going to be a good week too.  ha.  I was wrong. 1.  This week is the end of my Round 1 of DietBet.  I have been doing pretty good, however the last 2 weeks of stress have impeded my progress.  I decided to have a few 'no chew' days (liquid protein only) to jump start me to the finish line, but it doesn't seem to be working.  I'm starting to think this round of the DietBet is just a wash and I won't win no matter what.  I have been working out much harder in the last 2 weeks than I had since before my revision surgery so it kind of pisses me off that I'm not making more progress. 2.  On the lack of progress note, I'm starting to feel really unhappy with my sleeve and anger with B...

I'm really struggling with losing Mr Banker right now. The thought that I'll never hug him or laugh with him again is really sinking in. And worst of all, that he chose to never spend another moment with me over giving me 100% effort. I mean he could've tried for a week or two to see if he could do it..... But he didn't even do that. That's very hurtful. Unrequited love has got to be one of the worst feelings. I would've given the world for him, and he couldn't give me a title. I feel certain he didn't really believe me when I told him he had to choose all or nothing, but I meant it. I know I deserve ALL. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard. I went so far as to change my phone number Monday. I hope that he is happy with someone one day. I guess I just wasn't "it" for him. When people asked what made me feel so strongly for him, I often told them that he just felt like home to me, so naturally I feel very lost right now. My "ho...

Although slow, my weight loss is still continuing.  This morning I stepped on the scale before going to the gym and saw 239.4--which happens to be the weight I need to win my Round 1 of DietBet.  Then I came home from the gym and was up to 241.2.  Gr.  I wish I had documented my weight this morning before the gym for the contest.  Oh well.  I have 8 days left in this round, so I feel confident I can do it. I feel pretty shitty in general though.  I'm not sure if it's from my weekend travel to San Francisco (being tired and on a plane with stuffy air) or from days of crying over the end of Mr. Banker.  Either way, I feel horrible- headache, stuffy nose, hoarse, and coughing.  The way I currently feel, I'm proud that I even got up for the gym.  I'll go back after work to get another workout in.  I do really well if I do 30-45 minutes of weight training in the morning and an hour of cardio at night.  I just don't have more than ...

Monday began a new adventure for me.  I began my new job at Duke Clinical Research Institute.  As a Tar Heel fanatic, I'm sure some of you are surprised, but I do respect Duke as an academic institution.  I think this is going to be a fun adventure.  Above is my 2nd day of work outfit, after waking up at 5am to work out.  I have felt really good about how I look regardless of the fact that the scale hasn't given me great feedback. I also decided Monday that it was time to kick my work outs into high gear.  And by high gear, I mean that I went Monday night, Tuesday morning, Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, and Wednesday night to the gym.  Today I need a rest day.  I have never hurt from working out the way I currently do.  A friend offered to give me some free personal training which has been AMAZING.  I've worked parts of my body that I have never worked out before (lower back, OUCH)! I hope you all are feeling as good and motiv...

I thought things with Mr Banker were going so well. Since surgery he'd been everything I needed him to be. He had been sweet and more attentive. He even mentioned marriage and having children briefly so I thought for sure it was a great sign of things to come. But Monday morning all that hope came crashing down. It's a small world and apparently he's been also dating a fellow WLS girl I know of through Instagram. She posted a photo of them out of town Sunday. I spoke with both of them and got enough information to know that his recent effort really want much effort at all. I can't even lie and say I'm okay. I'm not. I'm crushed. But life will go on.

Good morning! Unfortunately I don't have happy weigh-in news this morning. Today's weight was 244.6.  That's +1 pound since last week.  I'm not horribly surprised, I haven't worked as hard this week walking or being accountable for food, so that's what happens. In happier news, I've joined a DietBet 10% challenge.  The goal is to lose 10% of my weight in 6 months.  There's nothing I hate worse than losing money, so this should be a good motivator!  Tomorrow I'm going back to Bootcamp for the first time in months for a free Saturday session, and I intend to re-join once I start my new job. Oh yeah, about that...For those of you who don't follow me on IG.... I was offered an amazing opportunity at Duke University.  It was the kind of opportunity one doesn't turn down.  I wasn't at all on the job hunt, but I was recruited and I couldn't say no.  I've job hopped a lot over the last year, but this is one I intend to stick with ...

 Last weekend was rough.   Look at what I had to look at for two days straight:   Seriously?  A hamburger between TWO Krispy Kreme doughnuts?!       I volunteered to help my friend's shoe company at the state fair.  Every year they set up a booth to give people the opportunity to try on their lovely shoes.  I try to help when I can, so I volunteered my time Saturday and Sunday evenings.  Weeknights are just too difficult with work.   Here's a picture of Rebecca and I showing off our Fan Feet kitten heels:     Even though I stayed away from the friend foods (go me!)  I still somehow gained weight over the weekend.  I'm back to my normal, so I won't be too hard on myself.   Proud of myself for not having any frozen chocolate dipped cheesecake though. It's my FAVE fair food :) 

Today's weight: 243.8 That's -1.4 pounds from last week.  I saw a lower number earlier in the week, but won't count it since I didn't see it on the official weigh in. Everything is good.  As of today, I'm allowed to start exercising again.  I plan to do that tomorrow!

1.  I was just thinking how thankful I am for the friendships I've made through my WLS blog and through WLS hashtags on IG.  Thank you for all the support and kindness you've shown me.  Some of you I will never meet in person, but know that you matter to me. 2.  I'm exhausted.  I took a week to work from home since I think I went back to work too early after surgery.  It was such an amazing help.  But I came back to work Tuesday and I am just not 100% yet.  I'm tired and cranky. 3.  I'm not a patient person.  I'm waiting for an answer on something big right now.  Something that would be life changing, and it's killing me!  4.  I've been watching a lot of HGTV lately and I have the urge to remodel my kitchen.  It's a tiny kitchen but would still be expensive.  And I need to put a fence up for my pups.  I need to start a 'house fund' savings account. 5.  I bought the cutest blue jean dress the oth...

Last week's weight: 246.2 Today's weight: 245.2 Loss of 1 pound.  Slow and steady wins the race, I guess? When I saw Dr. Y last week, he told me not to get discouraged by slow weight loss.  He said my body has already gone through the WLS 'shock factor' where people loose 30 pounds in the first month, so I shouldn't expect that.  He told me my journey will be very different, because I'm not the same as the typical newly sleeved patient.  He's right, but sometimes it is still tough to deal with watching the ladies sleeved around the same time as me shedding the pounds so quickly. I told Dr. Y that even if I don't lose another pound, I think this was the right decision for me.  I have not had even ONE PB episode?  I still kind of fear it.  I had a group lunch at work earlier this week and I ate sooo slowly, afraid each bite would come back up.  BUT IT DIDN'T!  And it hasn't happened even once since surgery, that's such a relief.  I ...

I made the most delicious dinner last night and it's quite healthy so I wanted to share with you all. Each "muffin" is 80 calories and 8g of protein. Mix 8 oz cottage OR ricotta cheese, 1 egg, 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasoning to taste. Spray muffin pan. Fill cups with the cheese mixture, then top each with a teaspoon of pizza sauce and cover with 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese. Bake at 450 for 20-25 mins. You can add whatever toppings you want, and you can line the cups with prosciutto if you want to make a little crust. :) it's so heavenly and rich , especially if you love cheese like I do!

I wrote it last Friday on my weigh in, and I knew it was going to happen....but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.  As soon as I started eating real food, the weight loss hit a wall. Last week's weight: 247.2 Today's weight:  246.2 Loss of 1 pound. I know, a loss is a loss, and I expected a stall, but I'm disappointed. I see Dr. Yoo today and plan to ask him when I'm allowed to start really exercising again.  I'm dead tired, but I know I need to move more.  My cousins are having Yoga day on Sunday and I don't think I'm allowed to participate quite yet, but I'll ask.  I'm only 2 weeks out and I was originally told 4 weeks.  It doesn't hurt to ask though right? I have a tendency to be stubborn and hard headed and over do it, if you can't tell.

I've been a bad blogger.  I know, I know!  Sorry guys, I've just been plain lazy. I was converted from lapband to sleeve last Friday.  It really wasn't bad.... I had little to no pain.  Those first few hours upon waking up... yeah, they sucked.  It hurt.  But then that subsided.  They were able to use my same incision scars from the lap band.  This photo was taken just an hour or two after surgery: My lovely instagram friend Cindy who was sleeved 10 months ago and shares my surgeon was my first visitor just a few hours after surgery and I was ready for a walk!  The nurses joked that I must've wanted to get outta there, but really, I was just sick of laying in bed already. I know, I know, I looked rough, but cut me some slack.  I'd just had surgery!   I was promptly discharged barely 24 hours after surgery and I've spent most of the last week just lounging around my house.  I've felt kinda crappy.... literally....

I'm almost afraid to write this post after Tuesday evening, but here goes... Tomorrow morning at 8:15am, I will be revised from my lap band to the VERTICAL GASTRIC SLEEVE. No more RNY Gastric Bypass.  Apparently it wasn't approved by my insurance company and when they submitted to request it, it was denied.  Fuck you, Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina.  I mean, they approved the Sleeve based on a letter I wrote about why I need to have Gastric Bypass?  Really? Whatever... I'm not a particularly religious person, but I do believe in God, and I think this is all in His plan.  I believe God made sure I was having the right surgery for me.  So here we go again. I've been on this clear liquid diet again today and it SUCKS!  I'm sure you all remember from when you had your surgeries. I'm not sure I'll believe it's actually happening until I'm at the hospital tomorrow, but cross your fingers and send me your prayers please!

Did you all know that the insurance company could rescinded their approval mere hours before a surgery? I didn't. Unfortunately, I learned that this evening. No revision surgery in the morning.

How did I think I was alone?  I have such an amazing support system. So many of you have reached out to me through texts, facebook messages, and phone calls.  I'm so appreciative of you all, you make a difference in my life. I can't believe it is almost here.  Tomorrow is the big day.

A hard pillow to put against my tummy when standing (I'm planning to bring the one the hospital gave me in 2012 with a photo of a Lap Band on it lol) Gas-X strips Toothbrush/paste Mouth Wash Shampoo/Conditioner Clean undies Pajama pants Chap stick Lotion Body spray Phone/Tablet Phone Charger Slippers with grippers Any suggestions would be much appreciated?!  Thanks!

Yesterday was my pre-op appointment. It began with a 3 hour pre-op class with 7 other RNY patients and one DS patient.  This class was miserable for several reasons.  First, I have already taken it before.  Second, the questions/comments just REALLY annoyed me. "How long do I have to take these vitamins?" "When will I be able to drink sweet tea/eat fried chicken again?" "I don't have a problem with food, I'm just fat.  Will I still lose weight?" "How much weight am I going to lose?" The questions were really endless and it frustrated me because I felt like these people had not done their research at all.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe I'm just being a WLS snob...idk. Then I had an appointment with my surgeon.  I hugged him and thanked him for all of his help and for fighting for me.  His personality though.... think....a brick.  But, it's not his personality performing my surgery, so it'll be alright.  He did infor...

I was SOOOOOO excited Saturday when my very first Gwynnie Bee order arrived! It only took 4 days from the time I signed up to receive my first package, really not bad at all.   So here are my first 3 garmets:   1.  There is NOTHING redeeming about this dress.  It was too big, the pattern was horrible.  The colors looked faded.  All of these things were written about in the reviews.  Not sure why I closeted this, but I was trying to give it a chance on my own.  HATE!  It went back already without even wearing it. 2.  This is a beautiful dress, and so very comfortable.  I wore it yesterday and received several compliments.  Unfortunately, I seem to think I'm bigger than I am, because it was at least one, maybe two sizes too large.  I would've looked better had I gotten a smaller size. 3.  This dress is okay.  The reviews said to size down, so I got a Large, and it still feels too big.  I'll w...

My head is in a really messed up place right now. I'm going to be honest, it could be going off of my antidepressant in preparation for surgery.  Or it could be a whole host of other things going on.  Maybe a combination. Surgery month is here.  As I write this, my countdown calendar says I have 14 days, 21 hours.  And I feel so alone.  I did this alone once already, and I did okay, but it wasn't nearly as scary.  I thought it would be nice to have the support of someone who cares for me this time.  I thought I was going to have that, but now I don't think so. Mr. Banker and I were doing really well for a short time, but then he became distant again.  I don't understand it.  I thought he would want to spend time with me before surgery, but he hasn't seen me in 2.5 weeks now.  I was depending on him to help me through this.  He has always been so supportive of the weight loss surgery in the year and a half we've (not) been...

Losing weight can be EXPENSIVE when it comes to replacing clothes.  I'm sure it comes as no surprise that NOTHING I owned pre-surgery fits now after losing 100+ pounds. I've bagged my clothes and donated them many times, and replaced them with hand-me-downs and loads of purchased items, only to turn around and donate those.  I always thought a clothing swap would be an awesome idea, but I just don't know enough people around to do that with. This morning I discovered Gwynnie Bee and signed up immediately, especially after realizing the first month is FREE!!  (and you can cancle at any time in those first 30 days to avoid being charged for the second month).  You can choose 1, 2, or 3 items to be sent to you at a time, but those can be swapped out at any time, as often as you'd like.  I chose 3 items of course.  (after the free trial, you can choose up to 10 for various prices).  Shipping is free, and if you damage an item, that's okay- you aren'...

Have you ever stopped to consider how food addiction is different than any other thought you have?  I know some people like to think that they eat 'mindlessly', but I completely disagree. There are only 5 things the brain is capable of processing in 'real time'.  Five. Sight. Sound. Touch. Taste. Smell. EVERYTHING else our brain processes is based on the past.  We aren't capable of processing non-sensory information in real time.  For example, you're doing a math problem-- that isn't real time.  It is all based on thoughts you've had before, things you've learned before. You're having a really bad day, feeling crappy, stressed, upset, etc.  All of those thoughts and feeling are based on something that happened five minutes ago, yesterday, last week.  A reminder of how you felt when something simlar happened before. So when you're experiencing sensory input, that is real time information, and it has the capability to block out al...

My head is in upcoming surgery land. I can't focus on much of anything other than surgery. My mind is swimming with vitamins, and to-dos, and what ifs.... I'm excited and nervous and ready to start over.  I need a fresh start with this weight loss thing.  I've been stuck around 250 FOREVER!  I was feeling a little bit of a failure over that for a while, but I have to remember that I've lost 100 pounds (+/- 5 depending on the day) and that's not something to sneeze at! But I get a new start, and that's exciting and scary all at the same time.  Before getting the band, I watched the procedure online.  I tried to watch RNY online and couldn't do it.  I may try again before surgery, or I may leave well enough alone. 25 more days.

I was banded on September 17, 2012. I can't help sensing that it is a good sign that my surgeon randomly chose September 17, 2014 as my revision date.  I will have my lap band removed and be revised to RNY gastric bypass on my 2-year bandiversary. I did get approved for the sleeve when they reversed my decision, however I have thought about it A LOT.  My surgeon feels strongly that RNY is the best option for me due to the amount of weight I still have to lose and my acid reflux, so I should listen to him.  I didn't listen to him initially, which is why I'm in the situation I'm currently in.  For the band I will not grieve, RNY will be my reprieve.

I will have a surgery date in the morning!  OMG, I am so ecstatic!

When I first started "thinking about" weight loss surgery, I wish I'd done more research.  But I'm the kind of person that once I get something in my head, I am all in.  I don't test the water with my toes, I dive in head first.  Someone told me that I couldn't succeed with the band, and damn it, I was going to prove to her that I could.  Except I'm not sure how that worked out for me really.  I worked the band, and it worked for me.  Until something happened.  We call it a leak, but there is really no 'proof' of a leak.  If you've been following for a while, then you know what all has gone on, so there's no reason to re-hash that part. But there are days where I have bursts of anger.  Anger that I did EVERYTHING I was told to do, and now I am going through this anyway. Days that I am angry that I thought I could have the band removed if I ever needed to and it would be like surgery never happened.  I am an intelligent female, why di...

Just a quick update that I'm feeling very optimistic about my most recent appeal. Yesterday I got the letter from BCBS acknowledging receipt of my appeal.  It included in it the name and telephone number of the person handling my case. So this morning I called her and in my sweetest voice I told her that I was concerned because I couldn't find documentation of an ER visit from March 2013 but BCBS was my insurance company then.  She located it, but stated that she had looked through my case and I had "more than enough" documentation and this one ER visit wouldn't make a huge difference. She took my phone number and said she would be in touch if there was anything she needed. It very much sounded like she is going to approve me.  24 more days to wait for an answer....

For my 300th post today, I want to share with you all my appeal to my insurance company, which I will be sending to them today: To whom it may concern: Please accept this letter as supporting evidence for an appeal to BCBSNC’s decision to deny coverage for revision of bariatric surgery from my current Lap Band to roux en Y Gastric Bypass.   It is my understanding, based on your letter of denial dated 02June2014 (initial submission) and again 22July2014 (peer-to-peer review between Dr. Jin Yoo and Dr. Lawrence Woo), that this procedure has been denied because “there is no perioperative or late complication of previous bariatric surgery per coverage policy AND there is insufficient serial records that there has been post-operative compliance with diet after the previous bariatric procedure, 9/17/12”.   In summary, I refute that there has been no perioperative or late complication of previous bariatric surgery, as I have been diagnosed and received treatment for GERD...

Imagine that... I email the doctor about the administrator dropping the ball yet again, and I get the peer to peer scheduled pretty much immediately. It happened today at noon.  Below is the email I received from Dr. Y afterward.  Cross your fingers!  Now we just wait.  I should have some kind of answer in the next 7 days.

There once was a young girl who worked very hard to lose 110 pounds.  She worked out a few times a week, saw her WLS PA regularly, and --regardless of her food addiction-- tried really hard to eat the right things. But one day, her Lap Band started leaking.  This elusive leak was hard to prove, but she was willing to fight the insurance company to magically turn her Lap Band into a Gastric Bypass.  She went through her pre-op appointments and waited on a reply from the insurance company.  Alas, they denied her.  Luckily for the girl, her PA was secretly a fairy godsister who was willing to do anything in her magical powers to help the girl. Little did they know, there was a wicked wicked administrator in the office who didn't give a shit about the WLS patients in the office, even though she too, was once one of them.  She forgot to turn in paperwork, refused to answer emails to give status updates, lied about contacting the insurance company on multiple...

Yesterday was my 22 month bandiversary.  I spent a lot of time thinking about how I've changed...and more importantly, how I haven't changed. 9 days with a COMPLETELY empty lapband will really tell a girl what that lapband has been doing for her.  Loose or not, there was SOME restriction there, because once it was completely empty, it was like I'd entered a whole new world.  A world of bread and pasta and eating and eating and eating. Holy shit.  Revision needed or not, this band is doing SOMETHING for me.  I guess taking a vacation from my lapband was a good reminder that this band is just a tool.  It didn't change me.  If I don't use it to it's full potential, I can go right back to where I was 22 months ago. I often convince myself I'm not that same fat girl anymore. I'm better.   No I'm not. I don't eat my feelings anymore.   I just do other things to suppress them. I'm the same girl.  I have the same problems with food....

I'm feeling frustrated, and like there's nothing I can do, so I just feel like copying some sections straight from the Surgery for Morbid Obesity Policy statement for BlueCross BlueShield of North Carolina website.  Basically, I'm going to argue my case with you all, for the hell of it.  I should mention that these guidelines are slated to change tomorrow...so this is all going to be somewhat irrelevant. IV. Revision Bariatric Surgery - A. Revision surgery to address perioperative or late complications of a bariatric procedure is considered medically necessary. These include, but are not limited to, staple-line failure, obstruction, stricture, erosion, non-absorption resulting in hypoglycemia or malnutrition, weight loss of 20% or more below ideal body weight, and band slippage that cannot be corrected with manipulation or adjustments. [[HAS]]:  I hope Acid Reflux is a good enough 'late complication of bariatric procedure'.  My EGD on May 5 shows signs of reflux...

I woke up this morning to a pain in my upper abdomen that I have never felt in my life.  It went across my stomach at the exact area where my band sits right under my breasts and traveled slightly upward.  I could feel the pain under my chest so intensely that if I didn't know this lap band were in there, I would've thought I was having a heart attack.  I was crying and damn near screaming in pain and my skin had lost all of it's color, so I asked 4D to drive me to the emergency room.  By the time I arrived there, I had sweated so profusely from the pain that my hair looked like I'd just had a shower, I was drenched. They took me back immediately.  I guess that's the good thing when you're in that amount of pain, they don't like you sitting in the waiting room laying on the floor yelling "Fuck fuck fuck".  They checked for a slip.  No slip. The final diagnosis was that I was having a stomach spasm caused by acid reflux.  They gave me somethi...

I'm a food addict.  If I was not sure about this fact before, it is now blatantly obvious. 21 months without bread.  Without pasta.  I stopped missing it.  Or I thought I had.  But oh man, did I find out I was wrong! So as soon as I got my band unfilled yesterday, I had that chick-fil-@ chicken, egg, and cheese biscuit.  It could've been worse.  560 calories for breakfast after not eating for 5 days isn't the WORST thing a person could do.  I justified it by telling myself that at least it had 28 grams of protein. I left work early because I can be more productive from home.  Stopped at cookout on my way home.... Barbeque sandwich with onion rings and hushpuppies.  What the hell, let's throw in a peanut butter banana milkshake for kicks. I wasn't really hungry by night time, so I'd decided I probably wasn't going to eat dinner.  But around 7:00, 4D offered to make me dinner.  He's been boasting about his cooking skills,...

I got a complete unfill this morning.  It feels so good to be able to drink water without getting sick! Know what else I did?  I ate a chicken, egg, and cheese biscuit.  Don't judge- I'd gone 5 days with zero food.  Unable to even choke down a protein shake. So I'll stay unfilled for a week or so, since it's going to be a doozy at work this week, and then go back to tighten my band back up.  I won't lie, I'm looking forward to a week of "normal".  I'm sure my scale isn't though.

Let me just get this out of the way-- I'm having a HATE/HATE relationship with my band right now.  It just cannot decide what it wants to do!  I've had ZERO restriction for 9 months and suddenly now, what, I can't even drink a glass of water without a PB episode? It's hormonal.  I was driving to my parents a few nights ago and felt so so crampy, and by the time I got there there was a tinge of blood (sorry, TMI).  And that's when this trouble with my band started.  Although the blood stopped, I guess the hormones are still there.  I haven't eaten solid food in 5 days now. All I want is my revision! And much to my dismay, the nurse at my doctor's office FORGOT to submit my appeal to my insurance company.  She FORGOT?!!!! IT JUST SLIPPED HER FREAKING MIND... I should mention that this woman is a fellow WLS patient and has been promising things she can't deliver for a couple of months.  Promising me that she's not going to let me get denied,...

I was going to post about this a while ago, when the first story happened, but I guess I forgot or it didn't seem that important at the time.  But then this second story happened and I thought it relevant again. When I was in California in May at Disneyland, I decided to ask if I could order from the children's menu.  The woman taking my order was a short, heavy European lady with a heavy accent who told me I would still be starving after eating the child's burger with no bun, as it was smaller than a little sausage patty.  I told her I had weight loss surgery and would take my chances, and she allowed me to order it.  After I ordered though, she was full of questions.  She told me she had contemplated WLS because she was having heart issues and had diabetes due to her weight and I strongly encouraged her to speak with a doctor, because it was the best decision of my life.  She hugged me when I got my food and went to sit down, and at that moment I r...