Saturday, June 29, 2013

No dough pizza!!!

It is seriously the bomb!! I'm so in love with this recipe. Enjoy!!

Friday, June 28, 2013

90!!!!!!!!!!! New scale needed

I went to target today on lunch---- was looking at scales. Definitely in need of a new one, as I'm -3 pounds down from last week and a total of 90.2 pounds lost.  [[WITH clothes/shoes on and after eating!]]

55 pounds to go.  I'm still a good ways away, but I'm almost 2/3 of the way there!

Fridge Friday

What's in your fridge??

I'm annoyed with my "weigh-in" (more on that later), so thought I'd highlight what I am doing well...

The contents of my fridge:

Plain Greek Yogurt, Cottage cheese behind it, 13 individual greek yogurts, 1.5 dozen eggs
A whole shelf of protein drinks (Vanilla Myoplex Lite and Strawberry Nutrilife)
Bottled water, 0 calorie sports drinks, laughing cow tomato basil cheese, horizons string cheese, half an onion, yellow bell pepper, and squash

My freezer is completely empty aside from a box of coconut crusted chicken tenders and a bag of slamon filets.

So... Where did that 2-6 pounds I've gained since LAST WEEK come from?  I have no f***ing Idea!  My scale would not give me a consistent weight this morning, I weighed myself at least 10 times this morning and never saw the same number twice.  WTF.  But at BEST, I've gained 2 pounds since last week.  Great.

I honestly don't know where it has come from.  I've been tracking my food and it APPEARS I'm doing everything right.  Maybe I'm just having a bad week.

Any ideas/suggestions would be great.  P.S.  I know there's no meat in there, I need to buy that today.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Another Ten Things Thursday

1.  I forgot to weigh myself this morning.  I'm not sure if it was really "forgot" or if I just knew it wasn't going to be good so I didn't.  I will do it when I get home, or maybe in the morning.

2.  Next Week is July 4.  It was this week last year that I started contemplating surgery, called the office to set up a consultation.  Then I went to Miami with an ex-friend who was banded and decided on that trip, on July 4, that I would definitely be getting the band.  It is kind of ironic that I made this decision, knowing the 'friend' I was with was banded and had not been successful at all with her weight loss, but I knew I HAD to change my life.

3.  Dating Update:  The Banker is gone.  I wouldn't have thought it would play out the way it has at all.  Robocop showed up on the exact day that the Banker started acting distant.  Banker said he was dealing with some depression related to missing his friends and family (he isn't originally from NC) but after a while I got tired of asking him to do things and being turned down.  I feel really happy with Robocop right now, and I hope this will continue.  Only time will tell.

4.  My work stuff really isn't getting any better.  I feel used, abused, and unappreciated.  The thing is, I know if I was making more money, I would be happy.  It is just that they're giving me all these new responisibilities, and even a new "acting" title, while also refusing to increase my pay. 

5.  Speaking of work, we had a pot-luck breakfast for data managers today and I did really well.  I got just a few small things- a deviled egg, some green chile grits, and some type of sausage/egg casserole.  I was still hungry at the end of the breakfast meeting, but at least I didn't overdo it.

6.  I really want to try a recipe for no-dough pizza...  I saw Donna's Cloud Bread Recipe on her blog about a week ago and have been dying to try Cloud Bread Pizza.  Unfortunately I couldn't find any Cream of Tartar at Walmart OR Harris Teeter.  Luckily I stumbled across another recipe that doesn't use Cream of Tartar so I'm going to try it and let you all know how it goes!  Unfortunately it is probably less healthy, as it uses parmesean cheese instead, but after 9 months without bread, I don't care much!

7.  I'm excited to be having ladies' night at my house Saturday night.  I have the most awesome group of friends.  They're not all friends outside of me, but they all get along so well and know each other well enough through me that you would think we have all been friends forever.  There will be pictures.

8.  My muscles in my lower leg have been hurting.  I don't even know what to call it.  It's not my calf muscles because it is on the sides of my legs, not the back.  Not sure what's going on, but I've continued running through the pain.

9.  The mother I used to nanny for (2009-2012) emailed me earlier this week.  It was really unexpected, but I had emailed her several months ago to ask if she wanted me to babysit sometime.  When I visited them in January, she mentioned me picking up some Friday night babysitting, which I declined because it was too far to drive after a long work-week.  So I offered my services on Saturday or Sunday in my last email, but she had never responded so I assumed she wasn't interested.  It was nice to hear from her this week, and I hope I'll have the chance to babysit the kids soon.  They severely under-pay me, but I miss those children a lot.

10.  The color scheme on my blog today is to express my happiness at yesterday's decision regarding DOMA/Prop 8.  I promise I wont bombard you all with politics, because I know we all have a right to our own opinion, but I couldn't help expressing my happiness!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Hungry.... Hangry....

While I do think it was a good idea to skip my fill 2 weeks ago, I'm now ready for one.

Yesterday, I ate a 6 piece grilled chicken nugget from Chic-fil-A and as soon as I finished I realized it hadn't done much for me.  That's how you know your band is too loose.

Here's the problem...

My surgeon doesn't have ANY openings until July 11!
I'm going to be a hungry/hangry girl by then!

Coffee becomes my friend during these times...hello caffeine/appetite suppressant!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Color vibe


Let me first start by saying, I never intend to run an off-road race again.
I hated running on uneven/grassy ground.

Arran and Me

Me and Christy
I'd like to congratulate Christy on her first 5k!  She did great and finished before me!

Arran, Kira, Me, and Nikki
A huge Thank You to my cousin Nikki who was so supportive and stayed with me the whole time.  She ran the entire 5k but she ran at my walking pace during the times I was walking!
She's awesome :)

The most fun part about this was dousing my friends with color before-hand.  It was hard, and I probably only ran half, but the good news is, I have tons of room for improvement for the Electric Run in Charlotte next month!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Thursday Weigh-In + TTT

1.It's official.  I'll be weighing in on Thursdays from now on.
That's -1.8 pounds from last Thursday and 87.2 pounds lost overall.

2.  Hanger is such a good word.  I get really hangry (hungry + angry) if I don't pay attention to what and when I eat.  Yesterday was one of those days.  The whole day I had less than 300 calories and I felt like a raging bitch before bed.  I think I'm still kind of feeling the effects, but recovering.

3.  One of my favorite quick meals is the Chocolate Vivanno Smoothie from Starbucks.  Love it.... 270 Calories and 18g protein.

4.  Loving my outfit today.  It's all recycled clothes.
$4 shirt from consignment shopping last week
Free Size 14 Old Navy Jeans

Can you believe I started this in a size 26 jeans 9months ago!??!

5.  At work they've decided to put me in charge of one of the new studies. 
I will be the acting Lead Data Manager and Study Coordinator for the project.
That would be great and all if the pay was coming with the title.

6.  Speaking of work, my company is sending me to New Orleans in September.  Any NOLA bloggers out there?  I can't think of any, but not everyone discloses their location so openly.

7.  I still hate dating.  Don't really want to talk about what's going on because just anyone could do a quick google search to find my blog if they wanted to... but hopefully I'll make some definitive decisions soon and give you all an update.

8.  Did anyone see that the American Medical Association has decided to recognize Obesity as a disease?
Interesting read.

Wonder what the implacations could be for plastic surgery post weight-loss?

9.  Color Vibe is this weekend!  I have quite a group of running support and that's exciting.  Can't wait to tell you all about it!

10.  I'm exhausted and feeling weak.  Can't really come up with a tenth thing of substance to talk about.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Weigh in Wednesday- 9 months post-op

Starting Weight: 344
Last Thursday's Weight: 259
Today's Weight: 258.6

That's -0.6 pounds since last week
And 85.6 pounds lost at 9 months post-op.

I'm going to weigh in again tomorrow, and if Thursday is AGAIN the better day, I may have to change my weekly weigh-ins to Thursday.  Tuesday nights tend to be date nights and Wednesday are run nights, so that could have something to do with the results of the following day's weigh-ins.

I really thought my weigh in this week would be better, but I'm trying not to complain.  But at this rate, losing 1/2 pound every week, it's going to take me 2 years to get to my goal...ugh.

Monday, June 17, 2013


I love food! ...Healthy food!

I'm not sure if loosening my band is going to help me lose weight, but it sure has helped with quality of life.
I've been cooking non-stop.

Here's yesterday's dinner:

Taco Bake
Ground sirloin cooked with 1/2 onion-diced
1 can black beans
Taco seasoning
Plain Greek Yogurt
Mexican cheese (2%)

Served with fresh avacado


With the avacado, yes it's a little high in fat, but otherwise, it's not so bad.

I also cooked my dad father's day dinner on Saturday.  I didn't see him Sunday so we celebrated early.  I made crockpot barbeque chicken (sweet baby rays barbeque sauce, vinegar, garlic salt, and red pepper flakes) with green beans and mashed potatoes (made with greek yogurt instead of sour cream, and he never knew the difference!).

Hopefully the scale Wednesday will reflect my happiness with my looser band and the fact that I've been making pretty good choices.

In other unrelated news, I'm channeling my inner Kim Kardashian today:

Friday, June 14, 2013

Standing Desk Friday

First day of Standing Desk...and So far I love it!
Obviously I'm really excited about this that it gets it's own post.

Please excuse my messy hair, no makeup, and my old dress. 

Weird thing, when I stand with my stomach up to the edge of the desk, I feel the tubing under my port.  I was careful to make sure the desk didn't hit at the same spot as my port at least!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I love Thursdays.... TTT

1.  I'm starting to think I should change my weigh-in day to Thursday.

That's -3.4 pounds since yesterday, and 1 pound down from last week's Thursday weight.
I pretty much ALWAYS run on Wednesdays so maybe that's why my Thursday weigh-in looks better.

2.  My food choices yesterday were pretty good.
I feel the need to explain my 'dinner' choice though.  I still cannot eat after running.  I thought since my band is DEFINITELY looser, I could for sure attempt food.  It took me about 45 minutes to finish that yogurt.  And at times, it hurt, almost feeling stuck.  I don't know why running makes this band feel so tight, but it definitely does. No PB'ing yesterday though.

3.  The Banker came running with me yesterday.  I did really poorly, but it made me realize how much I really do like him.  I was hot, sweaty, gross, and still smiling because I love being around him.

4. OMG...Loose skin.
It has been REALLY bothering me lately.  I am 25 years old, my body should NOT look like this. 
When I see myself in the mirror, sometimes I get angry for letting myself get so big so that now I look so deflated.

It really isn't that bad, I've seen some SERIOUS skin problems, and mine isn't that.  But it is definitely getting more noticeable and bothers me.  Yesterday after running, I put my hands on my hips and could feel my skin trying to escape over the rim of my running shorts.  It wasn't fat, it was definitely skin.

I cannot wait to get to goal so I can schedule a plastic surgery consultation.  I have no idea how I will afford said plastic surgery, but I can't live with this skin.

5.  Today, my desk at work is being raised to a standing desk. 
Since I started running, I HATE sitting at work all day.  Luckily my work offers the option to have a standing desk, so I sent the request a few weeks ago and it is finally happening today.
P.S. Standing burns about 500 more calories per day than sitting for a person of my weight.

6.  I'm getting super excited for the color vibe run next weekend!

7. I am meeting a family for a babysitting "interview" this evening. 
I hope it goes well, I love kids and the little extra cash wouldn't hurt my pockets at all.

8. I work in clinical trials and I've participated in them to make extra money.
I started looking into them again yesterday.
It's awesome that I fit into the usual BMI eligibility criteria, but I'm finding out that my band excludes me from some drug studies.  Most physicials wont want to use any bariatric surgery patient if they're testing Pharmacokinetics (What happens to the drug once it's in your body, how quickly it depleats, etc).

You win some, you lose some I guess.

9.  Speaking of clinical trials, just FYI, in case you're thinking about it, don't do it unless you know what you're looking for (Phase, duration, known Adverse Events, etc).  It can really be awful.

Two years ago I participated in a research study for HIV Prevention.  They wanted healthy (not HIV-Infected) volunteers to take this drug for 33 days and then give biopsies to see if they could infect the tissue with HIV after taking the drug.  So yeah, I made close to $3000 in less than 2 months for what I thought was going to be nothing.  I was sick EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And nausea was NOT a known Adverse Event.  It was miserable.

10.  I'm going consignment shopping today.
I NEED some new summer dresses.  I love wearing dresses during the summer and I only have 2 maxi dresses.  Cross your fingers.  I never used to be able to shop in a consignment store.  Hopefully I'll get lucky today and this can be a new NSV...I haven't had (or haven't noticed) any NSV's in a long while.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Woeful Weigh in Wednesday

+2.4 pounds since last Thursday

I considered not weighing in today because I was so upset with myself, but in the interest of accountability, here I am anyway.

What did I do wrong?  Well, Friday I went to the grocery store and bought a gallon of ice cream (1/2 gallon of birthday cake and 1/2 gallon of Thin Mint).  I ended up turning them upside down in the sink when I realized I couldn't stop myself, but I'd probably already gone too far.  I didn't even like the thin mint flavor (although it is my favorite girl scout cookie) but I kept eating it anyway.  Reminder of why I got the band.

This will be a better week.

I have officially canceled tomorrow's fill appointment and rescheduled for July 11.  This really could be a very long month.  I hope I've made the right choice.  Aside from my weekend ice cream, my food choices really have been very good.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

C25K Review and Summary

8 weeks have gone by so fast!

(Graduation Certificate)

First, for anyone who wants to get more active and wants to run...I highly recommend downloading a C25K app to your phone or finding a C25K group in your area (try Fleet Feet or  I only hope that if you run with a group, your group is as amazing and supportive as mine has been!

That first day, I made it through 2 full sets of 60 seconds and then parts of each following set.  Although I am not quite to running a full 5k without stopping, I feel that this group has given me a great start and foundation for running.  I can currently run 2 sets of 20 minutes, but I haven't gotten to a place where I can continuously run it.

I have the feeling this will only get easier as time goes my muscles become stronger, and as I get closer to my goal weight.  I'm proud of myself for sticking this out, and I am SO proud of my fellow runners!  I also want to say a HUGE thank you to Jill and Joe who were awesome C25K organizers!  They were so motivational and it's awesome that they really CARED that we were successful in this and helped us through the hard times when I (for one) kiiiiiiind of wanted to quit.

Joe and Jill at the meetup graduation party last night

So....... C25K weight loss... In the last 8 weeks I've lost approx. 15 pounds.  I did lose a little more than I would've without exercising but the incredible part is the changes I've seen in my body.  My calves look awesome!  I have gotten complements on how muscular they are from quite a few people, and it was definitely unexpected.  I can't wait to see how my body will continue to change as time goes on!

Last night some of the ladies were talking about running a 5 mile race in the fall and a 10 mile race in the spring... That seems a little ambitious, but something I will definitely think about!

My whole C25K group (almost) at the graduation dinner/drinks party last night

Monday, June 10, 2013


After that depressing dating blog, I needed a Monday afternoon pick-me-up.

So I decided to show you my journey in photos.  I also tried to pick photos that you all have not already seen :)

September: Arran and Me, one week prior to surgery

 October: Me and Wrangler on Halloween.  He was my little fire fighter.

November: Me, Sarah, Bailey, and Paige before a UNC football game

December: Me and my 3-year old nephew roasting marshmallows

January: Arran, Me, and Kira having ladies' night

February: Savannah and Me before a Shiny Toy Guns concert

March: Me, Vanessa, and Jessica out for Jess' 24th Birthday

 April: Me and Arran out at a strip club (I hate this picture, but I didn't take many in April)

 May: Me before going out for dinner

Between each month, I don't see a huge difference, but between September and May, I am a different person.

Dating Blues

I'm feeling really ick lately.  Sometimes I wish I had not shared my blog with several of my real life friends, because I'd feel more comfortable to be open about any/every thing if I didn't...


I'm going to write what I want anyway.

Things with Mr. Banker have been going really well.  We had our first tiny "fight" last week.  It wasn't even really a fight, I just let him know that the fact he hadn't seen me in 10 days was a problem and I was not exactly happy about it.  We communicated through text and then after I thought things were resolved, he called to make sure we were fine, which I really respect.  It shows he is a good communicator.  So, even though I wasn't initially just smitten with him, he has really grown on me.  It's so strange because the more time I spend with him, the more attracted to him I feel.  I felt almost no physical attraction to him at first, but something has changed.  Not to mention, he has his stuff together.  He's 29, never married, no kids, decent job, etc.

So you're wondering what the problem is huh?

The problem is that Robocop has decided to try to weasle his way back into my life, and I've kind of let him.  I really didn't want to go there again, but I can't deny the chemistry we had and the fact that I do miss him in my life.  He has appologized for all of the really shitty things he did and said he will definitely be different if I gave him another chance.  He uses the excuse that his life was just kind of falling apart when we met, and now it's getting back in order.  Trust me, I sympathize with financial hardship, I'm feeling it right now too, but it hasn't caused me to treat the people in my life poorly.

I don't know what to do.  Logically, I know Mr. Banker is better on paper, but what is on paper isn't always what the heart wants.  If only I could make this decision based solely on what is logical and reasonable.  I don't want to try to work things out with Robocop and risk losing Mr. Banker, but I'm not sure I can just walk away from Robocop without giving him the chance (yet again) to show me he would be different.  But how many chances does one person deserve?

I don't think he deserves any more chances.  But that doesn't mean I don't want to give him one.


Dear Married Blogger WLS family--you are so lucky to be married and have found the person you want to be with and not have to deal with this anymore!  Dating is hard and confusing and I just want to be done with it haha.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Ten Things Thursday

I haven't done this in a while, so here goes...

1.  Tomorrow is my last day of C25K and I'm so glad it will be over.  I am tired of driving an hour and a half round trip to run three times a week, but I will definitely miss my group!  We are having a second group in a few weeks, so I'm sure I will stop in from time to time.
Photo from yesterday's group:
Lorie, Mia, Janet, Marti, me, Victoria, Kira, Jill, and George

2.  Better than yesterday:

3.  Work is really stressing me out.  The have officially let me know they will not be pursuing a promotion for me until the 2014 cycle, so it's time for me to hit the ground running with applying for other opportunities.  I have loved my company for 3 years, they're one of the top ten places to work in my city, but I feel that they are taking advantage of me.

4.  Mr. Banker really has good potential.  He is funny and doesn't have tons of extra baggage, my friends like him.  I haven't seen him in about a week though.  We are both really busy people, and I'm a planner, he's not.  It makes it difficult to see each other because my schedule fills up.  Hopefully he'll figure it out if he wants to see me....

5.  I'm hungry, I don't feel like my band is tight, but Tuesday I PB'd fish sticks and this morning I PB'd half an egg with Salsa.  I'm not sure about the fish sticks, but I think the salsa caused this morning's problem.  All those tomato skins in the salsa are probably pretty similar to grapes, cherries, apple skins, etc. that I can't eat.  UGH.

6. I obviously need a new color for my isn't it.  Just noticed while writing this....

7.  My parents are so awesome.  Last week they came to town to landscape my yard.  It looks lovely!  They spent 8 hours digging out all of the old bushes and planting new flowers/baby bushes.

8.  Have I ever mentioned how awesome my friends are?  Honestly I think I have been TRULY blessed in this department, and I can't tell you all enough how great they are.

9.  In case anyone was wondering, I caved and sent the picture of my fabulous new self to my ex.  He didn't answer, and that's for the best.  Coincidentally, if you search his name now, my post comes up.  (SCORE!)

10.  I'm really missing my sisters.  I'm contemplating a quick weekend trip to California as soon as I get my finances in order.  I've been looking at tickets online every day.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Weigh in Wednesday and goals update

Today's weight is 260.6....................... -0.4 loss since last week. It's a loss, but a small one.

I really want to lose this last 60 pounds before 2014 and I came to the realization this morning that it isn't going to happen if I don't change something. I need to get my butt in gear! If I keep losing half a pound consistently every week, I will be lucky to lose another 20 before Christmas.

I need to consistently lose close to 2 pounds every week to make it to my goal weight by 2014.  I'm still not sure it's going to happen, but I want it!  If I can do it, I will have lost 145 pounds in 14 months. 

So here is the plan:

1. Try letting my band get a little looser to allow me to make different food choices. After going back through my blog, I realized my biggest losses have come as a surprise to me after a week of loose-band-syndrome, thinking I would've gained weight and then didn't.  So maybe you all are onto something and I am going to do better if I let my band relax a little.

2. Exercise harder! This is the last week of c25k....can you believe it? The group has given me a great foundation for running, now I just need to pick it up and take off on my own. I have a nice neighborhood to run in, no excuses why I can't do it every day.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Wonderful Weekend

What a lovely weekend I had!

Friday night, after running group, I drove to my parents because I was attending a wedding in their town on Saturday.  My best friend's sister was getting married and I was her "date".  It was a beautiful wedding and gave me a little wedding-fever.  Unfortunately I don't have a potential groom, so I need to get off of that!

Savannah and Me at the wedding reception.
Do you see all of those cupcakes behind us?!  Ugh...I had one...or two.
The exciting thing about this picture is that we're almost the same size!  That hasn't happened in many many years.

Savannah's family hadn't seen me since surgery, so it was definitely nice to hear all of the compliments from everyone.  That never gets old...  Also at the wedding I got a strange "compliment" from one of the bridesmaids.  This gorgeous, fit, tan, perfect, barbie looking girl told me I have "beautiful breasts" as I was coming into the bathroom.  It was just kind of funny, I was kind of unsure how to take it haha.

Then on Sunday, I went to the beach with my friend Kira.

The beach is only a two hour drive from my house, so we went to the beach for just a few hours and came home.
Kira and Me on the beach
Just me

Unfortunately, I'm paying for it today.  I'm very very sunburned!  Ugh :(

Just call me Lobster Hollee.

Regardless of the burn, it was a lovely weekend.  And I ate pretty well actually, which makes me happy!  I haven't weighed myself in days though, so I am a little nervous to step on the scale.  I usually weigh myself several times a day, but since I've been away from my scale, it hasn't happened, and I forgot this morning.  Hopefully it wont be too bad....after 10 glasses of wine at the wedding and a cupcake and a half.