I'm feeling really ick lately. Sometimes I wish I had not shared my blog with several of my real life friends, because I'd feel more comfortable to be open about any/every thing if I didn't...
I'm going to write what I want anyway.
Things with Mr. Banker have been going really well. We had our first tiny "fight" last week. It wasn't even really a fight, I just let him know that the fact he hadn't seen me in 10 days was a problem and I was not exactly happy about it. We communicated through text and then after I thought things were resolved, he called to make sure we were fine, which I really respect. It shows he is a good communicator. So, even though I wasn't initially just smitten with him, he has really grown on me. It's so strange because the more time I spend with him, the more attracted to him I feel. I felt almost no physical attraction to him at first, but something has changed. Not to mention, he has his stuff together. He's 29, never married, no kids, decent job, etc.
So you're wondering what the problem is huh?
The problem is that Robocop has decided to try to weasle his way back into my life, and I've kind of let him. I really didn't want to go there again, but I can't deny the chemistry we had and the fact that I do miss him in my life. He has appologized for all of the really shitty things he did and said he will definitely be different if I gave him another chance. He uses the excuse that his life was just kind of falling apart when we met, and now it's getting back in order. Trust me, I sympathize with financial hardship, I'm feeling it right now too, but it hasn't caused me to treat the people in my life poorly.
I don't know what to do. Logically, I know Mr. Banker is better on paper, but what is on paper isn't always what the heart wants. If only I could make this decision based solely on what is logical and reasonable. I don't want to try to work things out with Robocop and risk losing Mr. Banker, but I'm not sure I can just walk away from Robocop without giving him the chance (yet again) to show me he would be different. But how many chances does one person deserve?
I don't think he deserves any more chances. But that doesn't mean I don't want to give him one.
Dear Married Blogger WLS family--you are so lucky to be married and have found the person you want to be with and not have to deal with this anymore! Dating is hard and confusing and I just want to be done with it haha.