Saturday, July 27, 2013
I arrived in Charlotte and met up with an old college friend Kaleigh. She is a runner but wasn't running the race with us. Since she works in Charlotte and lives nearby, she joined the night's festivities anyway. When Patrice and Alexis arrived in Charlotte, we went to the hotel to check-in. As we were standing there in line, a short, cute guy walks by with body guards.
Holy Crap! It's TI, the rapper!!!
It was a brief sighting, as he was leaving the hotel for a concert. But, this set in motion a lot of excitement for the rest of the night.
We went upstairs and got ready for the race, wearing our ridiculous costumes with hats that had drink holders in them.... Here are a few pre-race pictures:
Thursday, July 25, 2013
In about 22 hours I will be running the electric run 5k with Patrice and 2 other friends. Exciting? I guess.
I was really excited about my mini trip with friends until Wednesday...then my spirit got broken.
When I first signed up for the electric run in April with Patrice, she couldn't stop talking about us getting together to pick costumes to run in. The VERY FIRST THING I said was "I don't care what we wear, just please keep my body type in mind." Patrice was insistent I'd be at my goal weight by the race, but I knew I wasn't going to lose 80 pounds in 4 months. As someone who has never struggled with her weight, I guess she has no concept of how difficult it is or how long it takes to lose a total of 150 pounds. Anyway, she finally agreed to be mindful of me with whatever she picked.
Two weeks ago, she sent a link to a light up tutu one of the girls purchased for the race. It was cute....but it was "one size fits most", and according to the sizing chart, "most" are an 8-10. I responded the tutu wouldn't fit me and she only said "ok" so I assumed that meant "ok we will pick something else".
By Wednesday, when Patrice hadn't mentioned costumes with only two days left to the race, I asked. Apparently the three other girls chose to get the tutus anyway.
My feelings were so hurt. I cried for over an hour at work because I felt so left out. I even started to think about not going to the race anymore.
I took a few hours to think about it, and finally sent Patrice a text to tell her I wasn't going to Charlotte for the run. She asked why and I just told her I was hurt and upset that they would be so inconsiderate of my feelings. Apparently it hadn't occurred to her that I would feel this way and she offered to not wear her tutu so I would feel more comfortable. That wasn't the point.
I appreciate the after thought, but it just reminds me of why I don't want to be the fat friend anymore! I guess I'll just file this away in my motivation folder and move on.
I ended up buying some Tulle and making my own tutu. It isn't fancy, sexy, and have lights on it like theirs, but it will have to do. I feel a little like a cow in it too, but I want to wear it anyway.
Hopefully it can still be a good night :-/
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
2. My mom made her WLS consultation appointment for September 25. I was really happy for her, until the person she talked to on the phone told her that the Lap Band was outdated and they prefer RNY or GSV. I hope they don't talk her into doing something she doesn't want to do....
3. Last night I made a really good dinner for myself and the Banker.
Aloutte low-fat Spinach and Artichoke
Monday, July 22, 2013
I woke up...or rather, was woken up, to an unexpected compliment this morning. My phone kept going off before 6am, so I woke up to find several facebook messages from a friend I made in March at Steffi's wedding in Germany- Ruth. She told me she could tell I've lost a lot of weight and wanted to know how. Explaining the Lap Band surgery to my friend and her husband in Germany was quite hard, and I don't think they ever really understood what it is or what it does, so I decided to just tell Ruth about all of the habit changes I've made-- no bread, no pasta, no rice, no soda, and lots of exercise!
It was nice to hear that people can tell just from pictures!
I'm back at work this morning after my beach weekend, and thankful it is another 4 day workweek. Electric run in Charlotte on Friday night!
The beach was okay... definitely not what I expected. There was a lot of drama...my BFF decided to invite another girl. Since she was paying for the trip, I didn't say anything about it, but this other girl was NOTHING BUT DRAMA. I don't do drama, so I ended up keeping to myself most of the time. Her husband showed up half way through the trip, which I thought was rude. Even my BFF didn't know he was coming to crash our girls' weekend.
But do you know what takes the cake? Her husband called me a "fat bitch". I was so caught off guard. First of all, that his wife didn't say something to him. I would never allow my spouse to disrespect any woman like that. Not to mention she was quite a bit bigger than me, so I couldn't believe he would say that. I was a little tipsy at the time. Normally I would not confront someone about talking trash to me, but I guess I had a little liquid encouragement. I simply said to him "When you have lost 90 pounds, and worked HALF as hard as I have, and run a 5k, then you have the right to call me fat. Until then, shut your mother f***ing mouth." That was the last thing I said to him the entire trip.
I'm not sure I would've had the confidence to stand up for myself 10 months ago. I think this is the first time I've been called fat since surgery. It didn't hurt my feelings as much as it just made me angry. I guess it didn't hurt my feelings since I don't really FEEL fat anymore.
So glad to be away from those drama-filled people!
I'll be needing another beach trip in my near future to rectify this one!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I was always the biggest kid. Although several years younger than my sisters, I always looked their age. I was as tall and big as them for as long as I can remember. That is until around fourth grade, and I became taller. I've been the same height, 5'9, since fifth grade. In addition to my height, I was always the biggest kid. It wasn't easy being taller and bigger than everyone else.
Then in eighth grade, after not making the basketball team, I joined weight watchers at 220 pounds. The truth of the matter is that I stopped eating. I only ate egg whites and green beans, and OCCASIONALLY had a SmartOnes frozen dinner. I drank cans of diet soda to fill me up in the mornings. Looking back, I know that what I was doing wasn't healthy, but it worked!
In 6 short months, I was 160 pounds.
But I still wasn't happy.
I couldn't shrink to 5'nothing, like my sisters. I didn't have their dark hair and eyes. They were always beauty queens in the parades (no, this isn't an exaggeration), and I always felt like the ugly duckling. I always felt like I was STILL too big!
I hated pictures of me...
Monday, July 15, 2013
Anyway, that was pretty much my weekend. I'm not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow. They're going to be so angry when I tell them tomorrow that i will be taking the next TWO Fridays off. 4 day work weeks!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
So about a month ago, I was struggling with whether or not to try to move forward with Banker/Robocop. I thought I wanted Banker but he seemed to disappear while Robocop was treating me like I felt I deserved. So since the day I first saw Robocop, I didn't see Banker...until Friday. And I felt terribly GUILTY. Sunday when I saw Robocop, I could hardly even speak to him, because I felt that I was going to spill all my secrets and tell him I'd seen Banker Friday evening after work.
So knowing all that, maybe I was just looking for a way out. I'm not sure.
Last night, Robocop came over and he was playing on his brand new Kindle Fire. I noticed he'd downloaded the dating site app and I thought that was curious. He took a nap and I decided I'd look if there was no password. I know, I know....snooping isn't good. I don't want to be a snooper. But I did it anyway. Instead of going to the dating app, my fingers somehow navigated to his facebook. I was appalled at his private messages.
How could I feel guilty about seeing one person, and he was consistently talking about sleeping with other people??? Men!
When I confronted him, I didn't tell him how much I'd read, and he swore he hadn't slept with anyone else. His words got nasty because I'd been sooooo wrong to invade his privacy. Yes, I was wrong, but my wrong does not negate his. I apologized for looking through his private belongings, but he never had any apology for how hurt I was over the things I'd read.
I don't know if I was acting out of my own guilt or seeking a way out, but I definitely read more than I needed to know that he wasn't the one for me. I'm pretty hurt over it, but not surprised.
At least I still have Banker. I was honest with him about Robocop and he was happy with my honesty. I may be a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. Had Robocop asked me, I would've told him too.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
When you're walking around Walmart in a dress and are terrified the next step is going to be the one that ends in your knickers around your ankles....
and then it does.
Wow...I hope no one had their camera out waiting for a People of Walmart moment, because if they were, I gave them one. Standing there in the produce isle, suddenly my undies are around my ankles and I didn't know what to do. I quickly stepped out of them, bent down, picked them up, and left (groceries in the cart left right where I was too).
I thought that would give you all a laugh for the day, hope you crack a smile at my expense.
Moral of the story: Don't wait too long to buy new panties once you know they're too big!
Monday, July 1, 2013
Friday, a coworker invited me to join a 2 week free membership with her to Burn Bootcamp. Her friend just opened a new women's only fitness center called Burn Bootcamp (it's a chain) and it really kicked my ass this morning!
I never thought anything would make running seem easy!
So here's the rotation we did, 60 seconds for each exercise, repeating reps as fast as possible:
1. Hot Potatoes: squats while throwing a 5 pound weight from one hand to the other
2. Elevated hip bench presses: shoulders were on a padded block, feet on the floor, hips and back parallel to the floor, while 'pressing' two 15 pound weights.
3. Double ropes: making these heavy ass ropes sway like a snake
4. Single rope: "rowing" with the rope (body facing the rope)
5. Quick jump kicks: tapping a half ball with each food as fast as possible
6. Modified half squats and tricep extensions
7. Pushups on the exercise ball
8. Knees balancing on the half ball while lifting 5 pound weights
Sorry I'm not all technical here.
I felt good finishing one round of the 8 set rotation. Until I realized we were doing it 3 times non stop.
After finishing the 3 rounds, we did some ab exercises for 5 minutes.
Wow, my body is already sore today, I'm going to be HURTING tomorrow morning. And then I'll wake up and do it all again.
By the way, did I mention I had to wake up at 5:15am to get this in before work? YUCK!