Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!!!

So....who else over-ate?

Ugh I feel gross. 

Although I realize 'over-eating' now is NOTHING compared to what it was before, I still feel pretty damn bad. 

I got up early to make breakfast.  I had half an egg, a piece of sausage, and half a cup of grits.

Christmas lunch included Chicken pie, a SMALL piece of honey ham, green beans, and a deviled egg.  After lunch, we took a break to open gifts and then went back for dessert.  At least (due to family diabetes) all of my dessert was sugar free.  I had a small sliver of sugar free chocolate pie and 2 small servings of sugar free apple pie. 

Dinner consisted of half cup of chili and half cup of slaw (my parents had hamburgers the other day).  This was actually surprisingly good mixed together-- I didn't even miss the bun or the actual hamburger.

I'm not sure what happened to my band today, but I know I ate too much.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it too much, it was Christmas and tomorrow is a new day to make it right.  And I doubt I will eat much Thursday anyway since I'll be having lithotripsy (basically my surgeon is going to beat me to smitherenes with sound waves) to take care of that pesky kidney stone, so maybe it evens out.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Weigh in....60.2 pounds down!

Weigh in a little early this week...my parents don't own a scale and I'm going to their house later today for Christmas and won't be back to my house until Friday.

Last night I was trying on dresses for New Year's Eve and I finally fit the dress that started all of this. A friend who had LB surgery gave me a size 16 "motivation" dress. I think I'm going to wear it for NYE.



Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dating After Surgery (follow-up)

Wowwwwww..... I just wrote this whole blog on my iPad and deleted it...ughhhhhhhhhh........


So after my previous blogs about dating, I read all of your advice and some of your blogs. It seems that many of you who talked about dating were concerned about the guy you're seeing knowing you we're formerly fat. Well, for me, that isn't so much an issue yet as I'm still a plus size girl (currently size 16/18). Especially if I want to allow them into my social networking life, there's no hiding recent size 26 photos of me. And the way I see it, why would I want to?regardless of my weight, I still LOVE many of the memories those photos represent.

So, back to the point.... It would be near impossible to hide the fact that I was/am plus size and am losing weight. And really if the person I'm going out with has a problem with weight loss surgery for any reason, I'd rather know now than later. I understand why people hide it, as there are many people in my life who don't know. I just don't think I could hide it long term... I'm always an open book about things, so when there's something I feel like I can't be open about, it makes me uncomfortable.

And FYI, it went well. I told him after our second date and I think it was ok. He's still coming around so I guess it wasn't a deal breaker. :)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Non-scale Victory

Short post to tell you all my amusing recently discovered non-scale victory.

I can put on a dress by stepping into it for the first time IN MY LIFE!!!

Some of you are probably wondering why this is significant.  Well... in the past, I always had to pull dresses over my head rather than stepping in, because my butt was so big. 

It's the small things in life....lol.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday...no change

Wow... my band is tight, I've worked out more this week, and I've been on a liquid diet for two straight days (430 calories Monday, 550 calories yesterday), and still the number on the scale is EXACTLY the same this morning as it was last Wednesday morning.  WTF!

I guess this just goes to show that alcohol is not good for weight loss.  UGH!  I'm so frustrated.

I did see a lower number on the scale on Monday (by 3 pounds) but I'm only counting the weight I see every Wednesday morning because I am obsessive about weighing myself and would go crazy trying to count weight loss every time I weigh myself.  Literally, I know I shouldn't, but I weigh myself AT LEAST 6 times a day.

I thought I was going to reveal my weight this week, but I'm a bit down after maintaining this week.  Stay tuned for next week if you're curious.  I think my drunk self told my friends Sunday night anyway, haha.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Happy 3 Month Bandiversary

Today makes 3 months since surgery.  How do I feel?  In general, I feel great.  Today, however, I feel like absolute crap!  And it's my own fault.

After the fill Thursday, my band is TIGHT!  Probably tighter than it has been previously.  So tight that I can only eat a few bites of solid food for a meal.  Really, just two or three and I'm done.  Knowing that, I should not have drank much (alcohol), but Saturday I had one drink after going to a basketball game (GO HEELS!!! ...UNC alumni) and Sunday I had a get together at my house and had too many glasses of wine.  I am not even sure how much I drank, but it was more than one too many.

So now, I'm super dehydrated.  This isn't something I considered before drinking this weekend.  Due to my band, I don't take in as much liquid as I used to.  Before surgery, I always drank 5 or 6 glasses of water at meals...yes really.  Now that I can't do that, my water intake is severely decreased and I have to actually work to get enough water.  I keep 2 bottles of water at my work desk and carry a cup of water to whatever room I'm in in my house.  Regardless of all that, alcohol two days in a row has me terribly dehydrated.

You know it's bad when I put myself on a strictly liquid diet today to try to help me hydrate, and because I just don't feel like eating when I feel this bad.  I HATE protein shakes.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Fourth fill... 5.6 cc's

I almost decided to cancel my appointment for a fill today, but I ate a pretty large lunch yesterday (although unable to eat breakfast or dinner) so I decided to keep the appointment.

My fills are done under fluoroscopy (a fancy x-ray machine that allows my doctor to see how tight the band is while I do a Barium swallow).  First she watched the Barium go through and decided I could stand a small fill. I guess I'll decide tomorrow how it feels since I can't have anything to eat for 24 hours.

The morning of my adjustments, I always do a "last supper" type breakfast.  Last time I had a chicken, egg, and cheese (no biscuit) from Bojangles.  It wasn't good at all.  So this morning, driving to work, I had such a craving for a Chick fil A chicken biscuit.  I tried really hard not to do it, but I knew today was my last chance, so temptation got the best of me.  I decided I would just eat half the biscuit (if my band would allow) and eat the chicken. 

First bite was such disappointment!  My mouth had been watering over this chicken biscuit the whole 25 minute drive, and now I can't figure out why!  After the first bite, I just decided to take the biscuit off and not bother, it wasn't worth the calories or the distinct possibility that it would be stuck and come back up.  So, this is last supper breakfast fail number 2. 

Maybe this means my taste buds have changed?  I used to love both Bojangles and Chick fil A biscuits.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Weigh-In Wednesday... 56.2 pounds down & progress picture

It has been 5 days since my last weigh-in post, and I have lost 1.2 pounds.  That brings the total to 56.2 pounds.  We're coming up on my 3 month bandiversary next week and I would love to hit 60 pounds by then, but it isn't likely.

I do have a fill scheduled for tomorrow, but I'm contemplating cancelling it.  I was originally scheduled to have my fill on December 21.  That was the only appointment they had available for me at the hospital nearest me, but since it would be 4 weeks and 2 days after my last fill, I was just sure I wouldn't make it.  I'd starve to death by then, lol.  I have been having adjustments every 2 weeks because my surgeon is so conservative about them.  But on my last adjustment, the day before Thanksgiving, my surgeon's PA did the fill and she agreed to make it more agressive.  At the last appointment I had 4.2 cc's in a 10 cc band.  Prior adjustments were around 3 cc's. 

So last week, I started to feel like I was losing restriction and decided I would drive 30 minutes extra for an early adjustment at my surgeon's other practice and rescheduled for tomorrow.  Unfortunately, maybe I just felt less restriction because I was eating junk with my family here.  Yesterday, I went to have sushi with a friend for lunch.  I took all the rice off of my sushi (trust me, it was quite a sight to see) and still had trouble eating.  Last night, I had my 3rd date with the same guy, and could only eat a few bites of chicken.  Then this morning, I made my breakfast- one egg and one piece of bacon... while I was cooking breakfast, the smell of the food repulsed me, but I tried to eat anyway.  I was done after 2 bites.

I think I'll go into the doctor anyway just because they haven't weighed me since 2 weeks post-op and I'd like to discuss my progress.  We'll see if I end up with a fill.

Here's a progress pic so far:
The bikini photo was taken the day before surgery.  The pajama picture was taken Sunday.  Where has my butt gone? lol

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Dating after surgery?

Many of the bloggers I read are married or were already in a committed relationship before surgery.  So, I never get to read about other single girls going through the journey of figuring this whole thing out when it comes to new dating.

Saturday night I had a first date, and I intentionally made it too late in the evening for dinner.  8:30.  So we ordered appetizers and I had a few bites of these boneless lemon pepper chicken bites.  It went so well that he asked to go out again tonight, so I suggested coffee (so thankful for skinny/lite options).  But at what point should I tell a date that I've had surgery? 

Typically I'm an open book.  And it's not like it's a secret...I'm sitting here blogging with my real name.  But I don't want to tell too much too soon.  It did come up in conversation that I've lost weight, but I didn't disclose how exactly.  My typical response to someone I don't want to tell the whole truth to is "Eating less and moving more". That's not really a lie.

I told one guy after a couple of dates before surgery and it was the last time I saw him.

Friday, December 7, 2012

And the total is.....55 pounds!

Wow!  It has been a hard week!

I am an only child, but I grew up spending 75% or more of my time with my two older cousins.  I affectionately refer to them as sisters, because they're the closest thing to siblings I will ever have.  They both live in California now and the younger of the two has a son, who I refer to as my nephew (Cyrus).  Last Friday my cousin and her son flew in for a visit, and it is so hard to eat healthy around a 3 year old!

Here's a list of things I ate/drank that I shouldn't have:
Icing...lots of it
Cotton Candy
Roasted Marshmallows
Chic-Fil-A chicken strips
Sushi
TWO Starbucks Skinny Peppermint Mocha's (tall)
Sweet Tea

Luckily, I pretty much maintained the weight loss and didn't gain anything.  I completely lost my schedule though.  I'm a planner, it is what I need to do to make this work for me, and I didn't plan anything during this trip.  I will be glad to get back on my schedule. 

Today's planned meals include:
Breakfast--
One Egg
Yoplait coconut Greek Yogurt
Lunch--
Kraft Polly-O String Cheese
1/2 C Fat Free Cottage cheese mixed with 1/2 cup Hamburger/Pasta Sauce

Hopefully next week will be better!
Before I go, thought I'd share an interesting picture.  I had an xray Wednesday... the xray tech had never seen a lap band before and took 3 pictures before asking me if I had something under my shirt obstructing the view of the xray.  Here's a picture of what she saw:


If you look REALLY closely near the band, there are little clip looking things.  Does anyone know what those are?  I watched the surgery online and don't really remember seeing any clamps there?  Also, you can see my lovely little kidney stone right under where the tubing coming out of the port turns down.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Hair, Hair, Everywhere

Since I'm getting lots of new readers, thanks to Lap Band Gal, I would love to get feedback on hair loss!

Let me start by saying that I have always been known for my hair.  I cut my hair every 3-4 years for locks of love, but I usually have long hair, and it's something I've always gotten a lot of attention for.  I love my hair, and sometimes when I cut it for Locks of Love, it takes me a long time to feel like "me" again.

So when I started researching the surgery, I found that hair loss can be a side effect.  The thought of this terrified me.  After lots of feedback, I decided it just would not happen to me.  I would eat my protein and make the healthiest of food choices, and I would take Biotin, and it just would not happen.  And I have done all of the things I said I would do.  Unfortunately, my brain decided I would not lose my hair, but my body had other plans.

I've always had thin hair, but it is becoming even thinner.  I'd love to hear your experiences regarding hair loss and whether it came back as full as before!

This amount comes out after just running my hands through my hair....

Monday, December 3, 2012

Changes

It really bothers me when I hear people say they know someone who had weight loss surgery and those people are taking the easy way out. Obviously they haven't spent much time with their friend to know it is usually not easy. Losing weight is rarely easy.... I'd say more often we step on the scale surprised to see the number increase rather than decrease.

So, now that I've gotten my little gripe out of the way, I wanted to tell you all the changes I've made:

Every morning, I eat the same thing, pretty much. Regardless of how much restriction I'm feeling, I try to keep this routine. Not only does it make it easy to decide what's for breakfast, it also helps tell me when my band needs an adjustment. Every morning around 8:00, I eat a scrambled egg and a small Greek yogurt. I'm partial to chobani champions Vanilla Chocolate chunk and Yoplait coconut. I like the flavors and they also come in smaller portions than most other Greek yogurts. If my restriction is right, I shouldn't be hungry again until around noon.

I've also started packing my lunch, which is something I never did before. Usually it is some kind of leftover or a bunch of small things thrown together. I don't like to get sick at work, so I often still eat mushy foods in the office. My personal favorite is noodle-less lasagna (meat sauce, cottage cheese, and some parm cheese sprinkled on top).

Dinner is a lot more flexible. I do still go out to eat sometimes, but I'm learning to order off of the kids menu. And at restaurants, it is even more necessary to chew thoroughly. Even still, I have a habit of locating the bathroom upon entering the restaurant.

I've started using MyFitnessPal.com to track my calories and make sure I'm getting enough protein. Usually my calorie intake is 800-1000 calories per day and 60ish grams of protein.

As far as exercise goes, I need to crank it up. I walk my dog for 30 mins in the morning, 45 minutes after work, and an hour before bed. I really need to work on building muscle.

The hardest thing for me has been giving up soda. I loved soda, but even a small sip now gives me a sensation that I can't breath. Giving up carbs, on the other hand, hasn't been as hard as I expected. I hate to vomit and most carbs send me straight to the bathroom to get sick.

And the last thing I'm doing is taking a multivitamin and Skin, Hair, and Nails vitamin. Unfortunately, my hair is still falling out, but I will expand on that more another day.

Ciao!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Surgery

Surgery was on a Monday morning. I only needed a liquid pre-op diet the day before surgery. It was clear liquids only. Oh my god.... PURE. HELL.

My mom stayed with me the night before surgery. I didn't sleep at all. So by the time I arrived at the hospital, I was ready for the anesthesia so I could get some sleep! I felt like it didn't take long at all for them to take me back to a room. Thankfully they took me back immediately because it took over an hour to start the IV. They finally got it on stick #4. Human freaking pin cushion here.  By the time my IV was started, I was behind schedule and they took me back immediately. I never saw my surgeon on the day of surgery, but I did see his PA briefly. I remember wondering if they cath you during surgery, and I woke up to find they do not...as I was peeing all over myself upon waking. Ugh! How embarrassing!

After surgery I was coughing from the intibation....most painful coughs of my life! I swear...you never realize how many things you use your stomach muscles for until a doctor slices through them....coughing, laughing, sneezing, hiccuping, bending, getting up, laying down, turning, etc.

I felt that they kicked me out of the hospital before I was even awake! I could not stay awake in the car to even help my mom navigate. Thankful for GPS! I stayed at a friends' house after surgery and her pre-teen daughter took great care of me. Honestly my band felt TIGHT from the swelling! It was hard to get enough liquids or protein.

After 2 days at my friends' home, I had cabin fever and I was ready to go back to work. She brought me home and I attempted to return to work that Thursday. Fail! I stayed for probably only 3 hours before sitting up was just unbearably painful and I needed to go home. I was back at work on my regular schedule at one week post-op.

The two week liquid diet post surgery diet really was terrible. Especially at my work....my coworkers do a few things non-work related REALLY well...eat and have babies!!! ((Hmmmm....I sense a correlation?!?!)) We had a team lunch during that time where I got soup. I was so thankful for real food  by two weeks out. Every time I get an adjustment and they remind me to only have liquid for 24 hours after, I cringe thinking about those two weeks!

Well, that's enough for tonight! Hope to get caught up more soon.  Here are a few post surgery photos to close with:

Here's a photo of my incisions on the day of surgery.  There are 5.  4 in a straight line and one higher up.


Here's a photo of my scars today, only 2 are noticeable anymore.  The ones on the sides and higher up are very light and hardly visible even to me.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Better late than never

Well....here I am, a little late in the game, but here nonetheless. When I started this journey I was inspired by bandster bloggers and thought to myself "I'd love to do that!" but I was absolutely horrified at the thought of posting my starting weight online for my friends and the whole web world to see. I still am. So here's the deal, I'm not going to.

I was banded on September 17, 2012 and now at 2 months, 13 days out, it has been the most life altering decision I have ever made. Not only have I lost 52 pounds in these 10 weeks, I have learned self control and I feel differently about myself. So here is my story...

I have been obese my entire life, save for a few short years on Weight Watchers. Looking back, then I was doing pretty much what I am doing now. I was 13 years old and lost 64 pounds in a year by eating healthier, smaller portions. I was eating all the time, but my meals were small and much healthier. Over time, though, the portions got bigger and the food choices got poorer. By my 17th birthday, I'd gained all of my loss back plus some, and my weight continued to climb over the next years.

So here I am, 24 years old, and I'm beginning this journey with a tool, a doctor, friends, family, and now a blog to keep me accountable. In the next blogs I will try to play catch up on different points about surgery (surgery itself, fills, hair loss, etc.)

<3 Hollee

This photo was taken pre-surgery on September 8, 2012.


This photo was taken October 27, 2012.  Around 40 pounds down.

November 23, 2012- 50 pounds down.