Thursday, November 13, 2014

"Home" less

I'm really struggling with losing Mr Banker right now. The thought that I'll never hug him or laugh with him again is really sinking in. And worst of all, that he chose to never spend another moment with me over giving me 100% effort. I mean he could've tried for a week or two to see if he could do it..... But he didn't even do that. That's very hurtful. Unrequited love has got to be one of the worst feelings. I would've given the world for him, and he couldn't give me a title. I feel certain he didn't really believe me when I told him he had to choose all or nothing, but I meant it. I know I deserve ALL. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard.

I went so far as to change my phone number Monday. I hope that he is happy with someone one day. I guess I just wasn't "it" for him. When people asked what made me feel so strongly for him, I often told them that he just felt like home to me, so naturally I feel very lost right now. My "home" is gone.

4 comments:

  1. Keep focusing on all of the wonderful things you have in your life, and know that the pain you feel over losing him will lessen. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, is proud to stand by your side, and who never wants to let you go. He's out there somewhere!

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  2. It is hard, for sure. But in the end, it would be harder down the road. Hugs, chica.

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  3. I went through a bad break up in my 20s; took a year off from dating, focused on myself and got right back to dating. I married the first guy I started dating and that was a HUGE mistake. Take the time, focus on YOU, do things for YOU, do things that make YOU happy. The right love comes along when we most need it, and that will be your Texas. Trust me, I know. I'm now married to my Texas - he was my high school sweetheart but it took him many years to realize that everything he wanted was right in front of him. We BOTH learned a lot from our mistakes and we have a fantastic relationship, of course it has its ups and downs but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  4. I agree, better to do it now and move on, than drag it on longer and let things get worse.
    Hang in there!

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