I'm really struggling with losing Mr Banker right now. The thought that I'll never hug him or laugh with him again is really sinking in. And worst of all, that he chose to never spend another moment with me over giving me 100% effort. I mean he could've tried for a week or two to see if he could do it..... But he didn't even do that. That's very hurtful. Unrequited love has got to be one of the worst feelings. I would've given the world for him, and he couldn't give me a title. I feel certain he didn't really believe me when I told him he had to choose all or nothing, but I meant it. I know I deserve ALL. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard.
I went so far as to change my phone number Monday. I hope that he is happy with someone one day. I guess I just wasn't "it" for him. When people asked what made me feel so strongly for him, I often told them that he just felt like home to me, so naturally I feel very lost right now. My "home" is gone.