Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

Well... I'm quite behind.  Xavier is here!  And he is 3.5 weeks old already.  I have been so busy sleeping and feeding and changing diapers, and let's be honest, just staring at him, that I haven't written. Xavier was born on November 8, 2015 at 6:21am, 20 inches long and 7 pounds 3 oz.  He was born unexpectedly in my bed at home. Yep, that's right..... I woke up on the morning of the 7th and knew I was in labor.  I felt different and my body just knew those weren't braxton hick's contractions.  So I got up, showered, and decided I needed to go get my nails done because they were too long and would scratch my newborn baby.  I went to the nail salon while Mr. Banker was at work...he thought I was crazy. When Mr. Banker got home from work, I began timing my contractions.  When they got to one minute each and 4 minutes apart, I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  We arrived at the hospital around 6pm and I was excited to find out...

Hi everyone... Long time no write, I know I know.  So here's the deal... I have been BAD with food.  So BAD.  At my weekly OB checkup 2 weeks ago, I lost 4 pounds in 1 week and my doctor told me not to keep up that trend.  I took his order a bit seriously, and went kinda crazy the following week and found those 4 pounds plus 1.  But, I'm still under pre-pregnancy weight so I shouldn't fret I guess? I'm feeling pretty miserable.  I'm tired of being pregnant, even though my belly is still quite small considering I'm almost due.  Baby Boy has dropped significantly and there is a lot of pain/pressure in my pelvis.  Bottom line is, I am just ready to have this baby here in my arms.  I'm ready to see Mr. Banker get to hold his son for the first time.  I'm ready to not hurt anymore and not moan and groan when I have to get up off of the couch. I've had quite a few maternity shoots now.  One of my dear WLS friends introduced me t...

I've been eating my feelings today.  That's something I haven't done in a LONG LONG time. It just shows me that I am still a fat girl in my head sometimes and I have to try harder to fight it.  That's why I'm here now, blogging.  To keep me from putting another piece of food in my mouth.  I don't even know where it all fit.  Before noon I had eaten A piece of french toast Chobani flips yogurt Meat and Cheese Lunchable A small piece of Broccoli Chicken Cheddar quiche Where the hell did all that food fit?! I don't know, but it went somewhere.... I got upset today over family stuff.  Basically, I had offered a bedroom set built by my great grandfather to my aunt and uncle.  I simply don't have room for it and getting rid of it was breaking my heart, but my son needs a nursery more than I need to keep that furniture.  I wanted to keep it in the family, so I offered it to this aunt and uncle who has pretended to be supportive during my ...

The last week or so has been a complete whirlwind! Last Friday my mom came to town for our baby shower weekend and then Saturday Mr. Banker's parents arrived.  It was so amazing for them to finally meet, and it all went really well.  Of course it sucks that my father wasn't there, but I guess this is just a fact of life that I will have to come to terms with. We went to dinner with his parents, my mom, and my grandmother Saturday night and that was very nice.  We took them to Ruth's Chris and it occurred to me that I really just don't care about food that much anymore.  I didn't care what I ate or where (except that I did not want to go to this all-you-can-eat Brazilian buffet Mr. Banker suggested--for obvious reason).  That's a huge change in my life over the last 3 years that I am very thankful for.  I don't crave food and I can eat the same thing for days if I need to because it's for nourishment more than enjoyment now. Our baby shower was Sund...

Hi! Although not weight loss related, a few of you asked to see updates to my home I've been doing. In August, I began by tearing out the laminate in the kitchen and bathrooms, and tile flooring was installed. My kitchen also got a backsplash. My upstairs carpet was removed and we put back laminate hardwoods. They're so easy to clean and look beautiful!  You can see them pictured in the crib photo below. We painted our bedroom grey with a darker grey accent wall. I changed the bedding and we hung Mr Bankers picture of NY above our bed. It definitely feels more like "our" room now, and not just mine. For the nursery, we painted the room grey with a teal accent wall. It's not finished, but the baby bedding arrived yesterday and it's so beautiful that I was literally in tears. Call it hormones or whatever, but I couldn't help realizing how real this is, and that Xavier is coming soon when I saw it. Mr Banker picked the bedding and I'...

Hi everyone, just wanted to stop in with a quick pregnancy/weight update. So... I'm still lighter than I was the day I found out I was pregnant, but I have watched the scale creep up slightly and that is hard!  SO HARD! Above is a picture I took Friday at 32 weeks.  It's insane, I hardly even look pregnant at all.  7.5 weeks left, hopefully I can stay under my pre-pregnancy weight in the next 7.5 weeks!

"Let me tell you a secret about a father's love...A secret that my daddy said was just between us. Daddies don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end, Amen." Believe it or not, I loved country music as a child.  That doesn't fit me now, but it would've if you knew a 7 year old Hollee.  The above lyrics come from a George Strait song that I loved as a kid.  Even as a child, that song could bring me to tears, and now I believe that somewhere inside I always knew it would be difficult with my dad. No matter what, I always said that no matter how different we were (or as some say, polar opposite in beliefs but two of a kind in stubbornness), that I got lucky.  I had a father who always made sure I had everything I needed.  He sacrificed for me and my mother when we needed it.  He sold his beloved jeeps when I was 4 years old to put my mom through her nursing program.  When I was 22 and got kicked out of my livin...

Man oh Man!  Almost a month since my last post!  I remember when I couldn't make it a week without posting.  Life has gotten busier and I am guessing it will only continue to do so once Baby Xavier is here. Mr. Banker and I have been beyond busy.  We are getting the house ready for a new baby and that is a lot of work!  We're also just updating some things in my house that I should've done before and never did.  We put laminate hardwoods upstairs because I couldn't stand the idea of my baby crawling around on carpet (since I have dogs...yuck!) and did tile in the kitchen and bathrooms.  We painted our bedroom and put up curtains in all of the room of the house.  It is looking like a new house!  Mr. Banker's parents are coming to visit for our baby shower, so we are working hard to get everything updated before their visit next month. Last week I went to Disney World with my cousin and her kids.  It was just a one-day trip but it was ...

So it's been 10 months now and for some reason, at this time, I feel very compelled to re-tell my revision story.  Why did I do it?  What is it like?  Am I satisfied?  Maybe all this is coming up because the revision rate among the bloggers I began with is INCREDIBLY high.  I have also been asked 5-6 times recently in a facebook support group about my experience, so here I am documenting it all again in one post. I had lap band surgery on 17September2012.  I had read lots of blogs and forums about the lap band, but I wasn't really prepared for my own personal experience.  I wasn't prepared for all the throwing up.  I mean, it was really a daily thing for me.  If I didn't get sick during the course of a day, that was akin to a miracle.  Then, after about a year, I couldn't get my restriction right with the normal 4-6 week fills.  I was literally getting a fill every 2 weeks in an attempt to maintain the 100 pounds I'd lost.  I...

Hi Everyone! It's been a while since I've written, because quite honestly I haven't known what to write about. I'm doing great and Baby Xavier is doing well too.  I'm finally over the horrible morning sickness phase so I haven't been gaining or losing weight really.  I'm glad to be done with the sickness- it reminded me A LOT of how it felt to be banded... not a reminder I ever want again. I'm 5.5 months pregnant now... just 3.5 more months to go!  I'm really not showing at all.  There's a part of me that wants to know what it's like to have a baby bump, and another part that is horrified at the idea of having to lose that bump after baby is born!  I'm torn, but regardless, what is going to happen will happen.  I've kind of decided I just won't get a baby belly, but that is unrealistic, right.  I can see him when I lay on my back in the mornings in bed.  When I stand, I don't look even a little pregnant.  I can kind of s...

Somehow, I GAINED weight while in the hospital-- 4 pounds to be exact.  I don't know if the hospital food is just that good (ugh... I'm going to guess that isn't it) or that fattening... or if baby is just growing. Last week my lower abdomen and back started hurting, but I assumed it was just pregnancy related pain and went on about my business.  Mr. Banker and I had a busy weekend, so when we got home Sunday we laid on the couch together and took a nap.  I woke from my nap with sharp pains in my back and realized this pain was too familiar-- all those kidney stones I'd had, they felt JUST LIKE this.  Mr. Banker thought I should go to the hospital, but I wasn't very interested at first because I thought there wasn't much they could do for me since I'm pregnant. A few hours in though, I began to worry that I might have a stone blocking my ureter and need a stent (I've had 2 stents in the past) so I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  They foun...

If you want to know the gender.... Go here: Find out the Gender of Baby F HERE!!! And a few photos from the day: Hopefully Mr. Banker won't mind that I put his photo up here. He's so happy with the outcome that I don't think he could possibly be upset ha! Yesterday was such a wonderful day filled with friends and family!  There was so much excitement that I couldn't sleep at all last night.  Today will be a long day!

It has been a long time since a child commented on my weight.  I had almost forgotten the feeling.  How hurtful it is, even when they don't intend for it to be. Mr. Banker and I went to the beach for memorial day with his best friend's family, including his wonderful godsons.  On the way to the beach, the oldest godson --he is 7-- rode in the car with us, and made a comment about how I was bigger than Mr. Banker.  I was at a loss for words and was glad that I was wearing sunglasses so that they couldn't see me cry.  I know it was not at all his intention to hurt me, but I thought I'd gotten to a point that I wouldn't have to deal with things like that anymore.  At 5'9, Mr. Banker and I are the same height and I only weigh about 10-15 pounds more than him now.  Mr. Banker corrected his godson and told him it wasn't nice to comment on people's weights, the conversation ended and when we got out of the car Mr. Banker had a private conversation with the ...

Am I in denial that I look pregnant? I didn't think so but yesterday I wrote here that I don't and a blogger informed me that I do? I don't mind if I do considering I am pregnant, I just really don't see it? ((Left in the black bathinsuit was the night before my initial surgery at 344.4 pounds)) The photos in grey were taken this morning.

Sooooooooooo... THIS happened this morning?! WHATTTT? I don't know where that came from, but it is nice to see while it lasts.  I know that at some point during this pregnancy, the scale is going to start increasing and it won't stop until sometime in November.  I will just have to get used to that. Friday, Mr. Banker and I have an anatomy scan to determine the baby's gender. We will have the sonographer put it in an envelope and then take it to a baker to bake us a gender reveal cake.  Then we have to wait a whole week (+2 days) for our gender reveal party!!! UGH!  But I'm so glad we're doing it, because Mr. Banker initially said no.  I guess he realized in the last couple of days that making me happy was worth the wait. Isn't it strange to anyone else...the idea of finding out the gender of a baby when I'm not even sporting a bump? Not at all...not even a little. See... Here's a picture from the weekend and I don't l...

I believe it's true that a mother's love is unconditional. I love my mom, she's one of my best friends. I know that she will always be. My father on the other hand was horrific. I don't even want to talk about it. Instead of focusing on my father, I'd rather praise my child's father. He knew it was going to be tough so he made sure I'd come home to happiness. While I was at my parents house, he came to cut my grass and left me roses. Mr. Banker had never bought me flowers before, so he had me grinning from ear to ear. Then he brought me sushi for dinner. He brought me so much happiness yesterday. That's truly the caring man I needed yesterday.

Sunday, after all of the mother's day festivities, I'm going to tell my parents that I'm pregnant.  I'm nervous and scared, but in a way, I'm just so ready to tell EVERYONE.  Then I can blast it from the rooftops if I want to. I've played it over and over in my head.  How I will tell them.  I've thought of long explanations and short ones, and I just don't think I can make it through the longer version.  I feel like all I can get out is "I'm having a baby and I'm due in November" and then I will let them ask anything else they want to know, instead of preemptively trying to explain.  I'm an adult, I shouldn't really have to explain myself, but my parents are difficult and I know this is going to be hard. Please send me positive vibes or prayers....

Another Year Healthier!! It was a wonderful birthday, just wanted to share a few photos from my trip! Feeling kinda ballsy to put a photo in a bikini up! We went sailing on a katamaran on my birthday. It was TERRIFYING and EXHILARATING!

I'm taking an all inclusive trip to Riviera Maya, Mexico for my 27th birthday. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you may remember that I usually throw a pretty big party for my birthdays.  Here are a couple of photos from the last few: 24-Pre WLS   25   26 But then last year's (26th) birthday wasn't a ton of fun for me.  My friends had a blast but I ended up taking care of everyone who was drunk.  So I decided this year to do something different. 3 girlfriends and I are going on an all-inclusive trip to a resort in Riviera Maya, right outside of Cancun. 2 days!  I can't wait.

Here's some motivation for you: I began on October 21, 2014 weighing 246.0 and completed the challenge on April 21, 2015 weighing 211.8.  I contributed $125 (plus $20 for weekly weigh in tokens-this is optional) and I won $292.07 AND a FitBit Flex (from the weekly weigh ins).  I'd say I did pretty well for myself on this DietBet and I definitely plan to do it again in the future. Note:  I did forget to do my official weigh in for Round 2 so I lost about $30 there. There's nothing like winning money for doing something I already planned to do anyway (LOSE WEIGHT!).

This will be posted for 24 hours.  Then it will be taken down for a while, until I have grown the lady balls to tell the appropriate people... like my dad. You all may wonder why lately it's been so important that Mr. Banker meet my parents and why the sudden trip to Rhode Island to meet his parents.  Well... we're expecting a baby in November.  I've kept it a secret now for 12 weeks and I just can't any longer. That's why I'm worried about weight gain.  That's why I recently wrote that I've had bigger things to worry about than the scale.  So there it is.  And it will be posted for all to see on this beautiful Monday, until I take it down. We are excited, and nervous- as I think most new parents-to-be are.  But things have never been better between us and he has been amazingly supportive.  I knew our surprise was going to be a make-it or break it type moment for us, and it seems that we are making it- so far anyway. Talk about an NSV... I...

I think Mr. Banker was cloned. His father is just a 30 years older version of Mr. Banker.  Same sense of humor.  Same smile.  Same laugh.  I'm usually shy around new people, but it was so easy to be around him and to love him because I felt like I already knew him from knowing and loving Mr. Banker himself.  The minute Mr. Banker left me alone with his parents, his dad asked me when I was going to marry his son and give him some grandbabies. Mr. Banker had scared me a little about his mom.  He had told me several months ago that she told him not to bring another woman home unless he was going to marry her.  So I had a lot of anxiety about that.  I thought she just didn't like them, but she told me she just didn't want to get attached to women who didn't last the test of time.  Regardless of my anxiety about meeting her, I loved her too. Overall, it was amazing meeting them.  Not only did I get to meet his parents, but also childhoo...

I just realized that I never gave an update on Mr. Banker meeting my parents.  I'd say it went as well as I could've hoped for.  For a white family in the south, it can be a big deal for the daughter to bring home a black man.  I wish it wasn't, but it still is. I remember growing up, my parents taught me that I should never judge someone based on their outward appearance- whether that be their race, gender, any physical disability, sexuality, etc.  Somehow that rule doesn't quite apply to dating though.  I understand in a way, I know that it was the way they were raised.  White belonged with white, black belonged with black.  I know that was what was acceptable then, but times are changing.  I've dated white men, black men, a hispanic man, and an asian man, and I never felt like race was an issue.  My parents were never 100% thrilled with any of them, so maybe my parents just don't want their baby girl growing up. Anyway, I've digressed ...

Let me be honest and just say that weight loss has NOT been a main priority lately.  I've had a lot going on, some things I'm not yet ready to disclose.  That being said, I've continued to lose. Depending on the day, I'm somewhere between 212 and 215.  That's crazy considering I think my brain still belongs to a 344 pound Hollee.  My original goal was just to be under 200 pounds.  I just want to live in Onederland.  I'm so close, but soooo far.  I can't even tell you how far it feels to get to 200 pounds or less. Hopefully I will continue to lose over the next couple of months and get to under 200 pounds, but I'm currently feeling a little discouraged.  I'll update you all soon.

I know I have talked on my blog in the past about my mom considering WLS before.  Back when I was banded she went to see a surgeon in Concord, NC to talk about the lapband, and the surgeon said that the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy would be a better option for her, given that my mom has diabetes that is not well controlled (by any stretch of the imagination). That was at least 2 years ago and now she's considering it again.  The thing about my mom is that she is not really that overweight.  I mean, I would say she MIGHT be 50 pounds overweight.  She just has comorbidities to obesity that the surgery might help her. I'm scared for her, but excited for her at the same time.  I'm glad she didn't go forward with getting banded, although I do worry about her not being able to stop losing weight after VSG.  But I guess that's not something I've seen a lot of from the ladies I follow on IG and such. My mom broke her arm and had to have a kidney stone surgical...

Wishing you all a lovely Easter weekend.  I hope you enjoy your time with your families more than the food.  I know we all look forward to the food, but this year will be the first Easter I've really celebrated in a very long time and I'm so excited to be near my family. My mom usually works on weekends, so she is always working a 12 hour shift on Easter Sunday.  Back in January, my mom fell and broke her arm and has been out of work since then.  It will be so nice to have my mom home for the whole day on a holiday--even holidays that fall on week days, she usually offers to work part of a shift so that someone else can spend time with their families.  My sister and nephew are in NC now, so it will be the biggest family holiday in many, many years.  It will still be small, but perfect- my parents, me, grandmother, sister, nephew, and sister's boyfriend.  I'm very much looking forward to it. Mr. Banker is coming home with me to meet my parents. ...

Hi Everyone! So remember back in October, Jessica convinced me to start a DietBet?!  I can't believe 5 months (and 5 rounds have already passed) and I am please to say that I have surpassed my 10% weight loss. My initial weight was 246.8 and yesterday's official Round 5 weigh-in documented my weight at 212.8.  That's a total of 34 pounds lost since I began in October, and although it isn't the earth shattering loss I would've liked, I will happily take it! Here are two photos from DietBet... I apologize that I wasn't beauty contest read for either of them: This photo was taken October 21, 2014 at 246.8 pounds  This photo was yesterday at 212.8 pounds Hopefully you all see a difference!

I don't know why I can't get this photo to rotate left, but in case you can't read to the side.... That says 212.4!!! My starting weight was 344.4. That's a total of 134.0 pounds lost!!! After seeing the scale this morning, I was feeling myself and snapped this pic: And I felt NORMAL. Then we had a work outing to go ride a carousel today. As I hopped up on my horse, I wondered if there was a weight limit. And then I realized I am sure there heavier adults who've ridden these horse. And guess what?  My horse did not break. I'm not sure when I'll stop feeling like the fat girl I used to be. Maybe one day I'll just feel like the semi-chubby girl I currently am ;)

Gwynnie bee is doing first month free again today until March 12 only. Please use my referral link : http://goo.gl/efH6lJ I've included a couple of photos of me in Gwynnie Bee dresses.

First of all, dress makers are assholes. I went to this fundraising benefit for my friend's son's school last weekend.  It took me 4 tries to find a dress that fit.  SOOOO frustrating.  After losing 130 pounds, you'd think it gets easier, but apparently not.  My first attempt was an amazon buy, size 18W and it just fit weird.  I'm currently a 14/16 btw. My second attempt was PromGirl.com dress that was a size 3X.  It was FAR from fitting as well.  Third dress never arrived, and the 4th dress was another amazon attempt size 18.  It was a little large but I made it work. The benefit was great, and I felt pretty, so I wanted to share a few photos:

Nephew Nerf war Life has been good lately.  Like that 'doing the happy dance every day in the shower' kind of good.   My nephew moving back to NC has brought so much happiness into my life. He makes me smile. He makes me feel so loved. He brings laughter and childish fun back into my life. Things with Mr. Banker have actually been relatively good.  He's been trying so much harder lately.  I'm disappointed he will be out of town for Valentine's day, but it's just one day.  Last weekend I was visiting my parents, so we decided he would take the train down to go out in Charlotte.  I hadn't planned for him to meet my family, but my sister had an interview and I was still watching my nephew when Mr. Banker's train arrived.  So Mr. Banker met my nephew and my sister on Saturday briefly.  That was a big deal to me.   We did have a nice time in Charlotte. I hope that things just keep getting better and better.

Hi blog family! I don't have much exciting news, but wanted to give you all an update. I'm losing weight at a snail's pace, and it's entirely my fault.  I eat too many things I shouldn't, too often.  Now, it's not like I'm sitting around with candy bars and icecream (holy recipe for dumping batman!), but I go out to eat too often and that needs to quit. I'm going in for my 6-month revision follow-up today. Yes, it's a month early but it's a combined appointment for my gallbladder removal. I'm pretty sure I'm sitting around the same place today as I was when I saw my PA 2 months ago.  I tend to bounce between 225-230 depending on the day.  It's still a downward trend so I'm not as worried about it as I probably should be. Considering I started at 344.4 though, 225-230 doesn't FEEL that bad.  And not trying to sound conceited, but I feel like it looks pretty damn good.  I feel confident and sexy and most like 'me...

Guess where the Obesity Help Conference is being held this year? If you read yesterday's blog post about bullying, you already had the spoiler I guess. RALEIGH, NC! When I read that OH2015 was being held here, I immediately thought of Erica .  She is the sweetest chick- I got to meet her in May when I visited California for my sister's birthday, and I know that Erica went to OH2014 and really enjoyed it.  So I contacted her to ask if it was worth going, and she said it was so good that she'd like to come this year.  That's how we decided she'd be visiting me for the conference in October. If any of you want to go, I have a couch (for those of you that I chat with outside of blogger) or can point you in the right direction of a good hotel!  I'd love to play tour guide and possibly have a WLS meetup experience with this conference coming to town. I have always regretted that I missed the BOOBs gatherings (for the newbies, BOOBS stands for Band Of Out...

Have any of you noticed how much bullying exists among us in the WLS community?  I'm not necessarily referring to those of us in blogland--in fact, I've never felt bullied or anything other than the most support here in my little blog world.  But in other parts of the WLS community I've experienced a lot of "my surgery is better than yours" comments and a lot of size comparison.  It's something that I first experienced when I tried a local WLS meetup.  I was the only person with a lapband at the group and it was then that I decided I would never go back. Now that I'm revised, I still disagree with it.  I would NEVER put someone down because they made a different decision than me.  Even with all my trouble with the band, I would never tell someone that they were making the wrong choice.  Your body, your choice. So, what's sparked this topic of discussion, you might wonder? Well, last month I went on a trip to meet several VSG sisters from instagra...

Over the weekend, Mr.  Banker and I went to DC.  It was a nice trip.  I want to share a couple of photos with you all, but I know that Mr. Banker prefers that his picture not be on my blog, so I am just sharing a couple of me. Just a cool photo that was taken in the hotel.  I loved how it turned out. In front of the white house. Things aren't perfect between us, but I love him more than words are capable of describing.  Things have been mostly good lately, and he's tried so much harder.  I'm glad to have him in my life. He is so supportive of my weight loss journey and that means the world.  In my 2.25 years since my initial surgery, I haven't met another man as supportive of my decision to make myself better.  We spent a good hour in the car Sunday talking about it and he just never says the wrong thing when it comes to that.  He doesn't exactly have a way with words, so I know he's genuine about this.  

Tuesday I posted this #transformationTuesday post on instagram and facebook: I was feeling proud after finally being in the 220's for several days in a row and I wanted to share that excitement. My sister's response to the photo made me tear up a little if I'm completely honest.  She said she's proud of me and so glad that I am a successful person/good role model for my nephew.  I really needed to hear that. It's so hard to believe I began this journey at 344 pounds!

2015 is here! So far, so good!  I'm finally ready to unload the stuff I have been holding back for a while.  When my love life is all jumbled up, I just stop talking about it on here. The last you all heard of Mr. Banker, I was trying reeeeeeeeally hard to leave him alone.  In fact, I succeeded completely for a month.  During that month he kept messaging almost daily, but I was strong and didn't let him in for 30 whole days.  It was hard.  It was miserable.  It really sucked. And then one day I realized I was more miserable trying to stay away than I was with him and not in a relationship.  And what do you know, when I let him back in, the relationship thing happened on it's own.  Yes, that's right folks, Mr. Banker and I have finally admitted that what we have is a relationship.  It's about freaking time! But...when it rains... it pours.  LIKE CATS AND DOGS type pouring. During my month break from Mr. Banker, I met S. ...