Friday, April 10, 2015

Meeting the Parents

I just realized that I never gave an update on Mr. Banker meeting my parents.  I'd say it went as well as I could've hoped for.  For a white family in the south, it can be a big deal for the daughter to bring home a black man.  I wish it wasn't, but it still is.

I remember growing up, my parents taught me that I should never judge someone based on their outward appearance- whether that be their race, gender, any physical disability, sexuality, etc.  Somehow that rule doesn't quite apply to dating though.  I understand in a way, I know that it was the way they were raised.  White belonged with white, black belonged with black.  I know that was what was acceptable then, but times are changing.  I've dated white men, black men, a hispanic man, and an asian man, and I never felt like race was an issue.  My parents were never 100% thrilled with any of them, so maybe my parents just don't want their baby girl growing up.

Anyway, I've digressed here.

So we woke up early (far too early for Mr. Banker's taste) to drive to my parents' house.  After running a few morning errands, we went out to brunch with my parents, and surprisingly my grandmother came too...without fixing her hair or anything-- she must've really been interested in meeting Mr. Banker.  She'd never met a boyfriend of mine before, and my parents had only met one of them previously.

Brunch went well.  Conversation was easy and my dad even slipped in a few embarrassing stories of younger Hollee's defiant days.  After brunch we parted ways and my parents called to ask if Mr. Banker would like to stay for Easter Sunday, but he already had plans.  I definitely felt like it was a good sign for them to extend the offer, and it made me feel good about the visit.

I know that Mr. Banker's parents will be more accepting of us as far as race goes next weekend- they are an interracial couple as well.  I just hope that our surprise visit isn't too much of a surprise for them!  I definitely know that my parents wouldn't like me just showing up with someone, without telling them I'm coming, but he knows his parents better than I do so I just have to trust his judgement.

Rhode Island in one week!


  1. I am glad it went well for you!

  2. I feel so sorry for people who let race constrict their circle of friends (and more than friends). I'm gad visit went well. Definitely makes things easier.

  3. My daughter barely escaped with her life from an abusive husband. As mother & grandmother, I'd be more interested in how he treats you as a person. Your significant other should be your best friend. Someone who has your back no matter what. Show your folks he's a good man & they will accept.

    1. He is definitely my best friend and partner in everything. I hope showing them he's good to me will be enough, but I fear it isn't.

  4. I would feel really nervous about just "popping in" the first time I met his parents too but I'm sure it will be fine. It sounds like this encounter was very positive! :)

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