Thursday, December 19, 2013

TTT and requesting your Advice (#10)

1.  Good morning everyone!  Life is great... I have felt so happy and cheerful lately!  I don't know if life is just great or if it's the holidays or the antidepressant, but I hope this feeling continues.  I can't remember the last time I had such a positive and clear outlook on things.

2. It's fill day...again.  I weighed myself this morning and the scale hasn't budged since my fill 2 weeks ago....still steady at 247.  I think my PA will be slightly disappointed, but I can't say I am.  The holidays are a really difficult time to try to lose weight, but I'm going to keep trying.

3. I haven't written anything about it but for about 2 months I've been trying to help Mr. Banker get a new job.  I started by re-imaging his resume, and then we applied to 4 banks online together.  I told him not to get his hopes up because in my experience, out of 100 jobs, I might get 5 interviews.  But, he has gotten responses/interviews from every job!  He has his last interview today, and should hear something soon.  I know good things are about to happen for him, and I'm so proud of him for taking steps to better himself.

4.  Since my baby cousin surprised our family with a visit on Monday, I've  decided to have a little gathering at my house tomorrow night.  It will be small, just a couple of friends and family, and Mr. Banker.  I'm excited that he hasn't acted nervous/weird about meeting some members of my family.

5.  Yesterday my company announced that they are going to start using the system I used to use at my old job to build studies.  I'm WAYYY too happy about this.  I loved building studies in this system, so I'm going to have a talk with my manager about it soon.  They are planning to start the certification process in the new year, but I'm already certified so hopefully this will give me some leverage.

6.  I'm kind of annoyed with a friend.  I'm stuck on whether or not to say anything to her.  Mr. Banker says I should, but I have nearly decided there is no point.  We have been friends for 7 years, and I have been an extremely good friend to her.  The ONLY argument we have ever had in 7 years was this past July, and it was over the same thing, so I feel like if she cared she would have fixed the issue.  I don't see a point in harping on the same thing again.

7.  Totally random to mention on my blog, but I guess that's what TTT is good for:  I never believed in Santa.  Sorry Mom if you're reading this, but I never really did.  I wish I had.

8.  I love glasses.  I mean, I hate that I am blind as a bat, but glasses are a fun accessory to me.  I wear them about 50% of the time.  I have 5 pairs that I alternate between, and my mom had extra FSA money to blow, so she bought me a new pair yesterday.  I can't wait to wear them!

9.  Another thing I love...pretty panties.  The weight loss thing kind of sucks because I refuse to buy expensive under garments knowing they will not fit shortly.  But I miss my sexy undies.  Even if no one can see them, when I am wearing something hot under my clothes, I feel a million times more confident!

10.  Speaking of confidence...I have been thinking about my weight loss, or lack there of, lately.  I think I've gotten complacent.  I think I am happy with my body.  Happy enough that if I stayed this weight for the rest of my life, I could live with that.  I know I shouldn't be happy with that...  I've lost 100, but I could easily lose 80 more pounds, but my goal was never to be that small anyway.  I know I'm still plus size.  I know 247 is still a lot as far as numbers go.  But then I look at myself in the mirror and I'm freaking happy with what I see.  Is that bad?  I don't know... I know it's good to love yourself, but maybe I'm loving myself too much and it's keeping me from getting to goal?  Any thoughts on how to be happy with where you are and still want to go further?  Yea, reaching my goal of 199 would feel awesome... I know I'd probably cry if I saw a 1 on my scale.  But it just doesn't feel like a priority anymore.  Help and advice on this is much appreciated.
Unfortunately, I no longer have my "Before" photos taken in a black bikini, but I promise you there is a world of difference between me now, and me then.  I know this may look like a "before" picture to a lot of you...but I am happy with where I am.   


  1. Since you did this for you and for noone else--then be happy with you. I think you look awesome, and you are right where I want to be, goal wise. I'm shooting for 250--but i put 225 as the motivational weight to try to get to. Honestly, I think if I can get into the 2's I would escatic!

    You have made such terrific progress. Personally, if you are happy, then be happy. Don't make yourself miserable obsessing over a number. You are healthy, you are happy, and that's really all that matters. And maybe when you aren't focusing on it, the weight will slip away and you'll lose it without trying.

    Besides, good things come to those who wait!

  2. You look amazing! I love this post. I can see a difference in attitude! XOXO

  3. You look GREAT! I wish my skin was holding up as well as yours is!

    1. Thanks! I do have saggy skin, the worst of it is covered by my undies though. Just a consequence of letting myself get to 344 pounds and a reminder not to go back.