First, my last post, I apologize if I worried anyone. I was really not at all okay, but am doing better. I prayed and have come to a conclusion about things, and am at peace with my decision.
Christmas was nice... I was in a funk of course, so it was hard, but it was a nice day with my family. I got a lot of really nice gifts, the food was good, and I absolutely did not over eat. I did PB though, after eating a sugar free brownie that got stuck. I forgot how painful and violent a stuck episode can be.
And guess what? I came home from my parents' house to see 241.2 on the scale!!! That's my lowest adult weight!!! That means I lost weight over Thanksgiving AND Christmas this year. I'm effing awesome, ha. Lots of people have mentioned my weight loss lately too, and that feels GREAT.
I took this full length selfie Friday because I realized it had been a while.
Those are size 14 jeans, but I could technically fit the 12s.
I really wore a 24/26 18 months ago?
I went shopping several times during my break. Friday I went into Charlotte Russe, a store I have NEVER purchased anything from. My little cousin convinced me to try on this gorgeous dress, size L. I told her it would never fit in a million years. But it did. And I LOVED it. I wish I'd bought it, but I am strapped for money right now and couldn't justify it. Yesterday I went dress shopping again. Although I can't afford a new dress, I desperately want a new New Years Eve outfit. I will not buy one though. Anyway, point of the story is, I went into Forever 21. Why do I still pick up dtresses in size 3X?! And I seriously think they're going to fit... Needless to say, they were much too big, and I had to send the attendant out to get me every dress I had picked in a size XL instead. I bet she was annoyed with me.
Mr. Banker and I did our Christmas Friday night. We still need to go out to celebrate his 30th birthday, but we will do that soon. His gifts to me were cute- 2 of them were kind of jokes. Things that anyone else would see me open and be like "what?!" but he and I know why he got them for me. I like things like that... I've always said the little things make me happiest.
So Mr. Banker and I have come to a fork in the road. Either we are going to be in a relationship, or we're going to be completely done. He says he isn't going to lose me, so I asked him to take some time and REALLY think about this. I'm hoping that soon I will have good news for you all on that front, but only time will tell. Friday night he said something that sounded like he feels that we've been in a relationship even if it didn't have a title. No kidding, when did you come to that realization Mr. Banker?
Last night I went to watch UFC with someone from my past. This person is really a negative force in my life and about once a year I decide to torture myself by seeing him. I once thought I loved him and now I can't figure out why or how I could have. He is so condescending and demeaning. Anyway, I hadn't seen him since surgery, but he knows I had it. We stopped talking about a year ago when he told me it was insulting to him that I "paid for my weight loss and he has to work for his". Just to give you an idea of what kind of person he is. Anyway, I actually had a good time. I was there with him and his friend and he didn't say anything insulting, although he did not compliment me on the fact that I've lost about 105 pounds since he last saw me either. But then when he left he didn't have the nicest things to say via text. Why do I keep seeking his approval when I know I will NEVER get it?!
And....because I don't want to end on a negative note, I'm going to share some throwback pictures I found at my parents house on Christmas eve. I had the BEST time going through old photos!
Christmas 1989 with my sisters
Christmas approx 1993 with my sisters
Mr. Banker says I look exactly the same now when I don't have makeup on.
Best guess is 1992, apparently I was annoyed with having my photo taken