Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

I am a food addict. There is nothing else I am or have ever been addicted to.  But I can say with 100% certainty that I am a food addict. I had this surgery to help me with my addiction.  And MOST OF THE TIME it does. But this weekend I was out of control .  For those of you who don't understand food addiction this may sound funny (although I suspect many of you reading this do). My band is NOT AT ALL tight.  In fact, it is almost like it is not there at all.  And I can't control myself. This weekend was an absolute shit-show when it came to food.  And it doesn't help that my right foot is messed up to the point I can hardly walk. Soooo...PLEASE tell me your secrets for what you do when you are out of control.  My fill appointment isn't until October 17 so I NEED to do something to get myself under control. Normally I'd go on an all liquid diet to push "reset" but literally it feels like I don't have a band right now, so I know that will...

 As promised a few posts ago, I decided to show you all my super-hero style bat wings. This is a way for me to come to terms with my new/changing body.   "Relaxed" Arms (above)    "Flexing" (below) I'm smiling because I'd received a text from you-know-who as I was about to snap this photo.   One of these days, I'm going to cut that flabby skin off...   I guess it could be worse.  And likely will be by the end of this next 50 pounds I will lose.  

1. I forgot to weigh in this morning, but my other weigh ins this week tell me the number on the scale really had not moved since last week. 2.  Yesterday my plans were kind of up in the air.  First, my mom talked about coming to visit.  Then Mr. Banker asked to come over.  Then a friend, Ashley, asked me to go to dinner.  My mom canceled, so I told Mr. Banker that Ashley had asked me to dinner, so he told me to go out with her.  I guess he wasn't expecting I would be at the restaurant for 4 hours because apparently he was planning to come over after my dinner. 3.  One of my favorite things about Lap Band is that I can usually go out to dinner for about $4 now.  If you don't have a card from your WLS that states you can eat from the kid's menu, you're missing out! 4.  I need a fill.  I'm hungry all the time right now.  I tried to move my appointment up, but they didn't have any openings.  I'm so thankful my PA will be bac...

I was reminded tonight why I had surgery. So that NO ONE can ever treat me like this in the future. Yes, this was posted about me on Facebook today by someone who hasn't seen me in at least 4 years. I got the notification on Facebook while Banker and I were eating dinner. I was almost in tears as I told him about being bullied by this guy during college. I could tell Banker was legitimately angry.  It's moments like these that I know he cares.  That he felt something over seeing me hurt.  And I'm glad I wasn't alone upon receiving that. I can't understand bullying....I'm 25. I shouldn't have to continue to live through this elementary school nonsense. I thought of several responses to him, but at the end of the day, I'm better than that. Not That It Matters, But I'm Not In The Photo Below, It Is Just A Meme someone Tagged Me In.

Happy Monday Everyone!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  And although I'm a day late, Happy Fall :) This is my college campus in fall. Can you see why I love the changing seasons? Yesterday I went for a 4 mile walk with a friend, and today my body can tell I haven't been doing much lately.  I need to get on that!  With the weather cooling off, I really have no excuses! I spent the last day of summer at the beach with Banker. Friday was a hard day for Banker.  After spending the evening with his Godsons, he came over to stay the night.  Twice in one week... We woke up early Saturday morning to go to the beach.  The weather was supposed to be good Saturday, but it really wasn't.  It rained almost the entire drive and I was a little scared it would be rainy at the beach.  Luckily it was just overcast once we arrived. Sitting on the beach, with a little liquid encouragement, we had some very deep conversations.  He love...

This is just a quick update to let you all know where I am health-wise 1 year after Lap Band. Wednesday I went to see my PCP for something completely un-related to my band or really general health.  She could not say enough good things about my weight loss. In addition to being 100+ pounds down, my blood pressure was 100/76. There were times I was afraid of being diagnosed with hypertension at age 23. PCP asked me how my blood tests look after a year, and it occurred to me that I have not had ANY blood work since prior to surgery.  We mutually decided it might be a good idea to check some things. I am happy to report that her nurse called me yesterday and told me 'everything' was normal.  I don't know what 'everything' consists of other than A1C (sugar), cholesterol, and Iron. I love knowing that not only am I better on the outside, but the inside too!

((I'm not very subtle...my career is research, so I liked this)) Luka  was completely right... I can think of no better word to describe my current feelings than 'twitterpated'. I debated whether or not to write this post for two reasons: --If he is secretly reading my blog, I would be mortified. --You all are going to get so tired of reading about my giant crush. BUT I decided to post anyway because there might be some point in the future that I want to remember exactly how I feel right now... how floaty and cheerful I felt this morning. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I'm a planner.  It is who I am.  Anyone who wants to spend time with me pretty much knows that they need to make advanced plans with me.  Last week I made plans to see my friend, I'm going to call her Supermom, on Tuesday.  We don't see each other much and she's been going through a lot, so spending...

Starting weight: 344.4 Current weight: 242.8 Total loss at one year post-op: -101.4 pounds!! I've lost a small person :) But I've gained so much more.  Confidence.  Energy.  Health. I feel like I'm finally truly learning who I am, not just who I was as a morbidly obese woman who wanted to be hidden. Here is my surgery story, with photos of the incisions included.  Sometimes it is hard to look at that first photo on the day of surgery.  To remember what my body looked like at 344 pounds.  But it's important too.  I need to remember, so that I don't ever allow myself to slip back into those habits that got me there. Today, at one year post op, I am about 66% of the way to my goal.  To those of you who are there, I just want to say how proud of you I am, because I know how hard this journey has been!

The weather is cooling down here in North Carolina, but it is not REALLY looking like Christmas. I love Christmas...everything about it. The food, the baking, how happy the kids are, mall decorations, Christmas movies....in fact, there is very little I dislike about the holiday. Apparently Mr. Banker also loves Christmas....and why wouldn't he....he was born on Christmas! So we got on the topic of what we do for the holidays the other day.  He does not go to Rhode Island for Christmas or Thanksgiving since the Bank is open the next day. He likes to hint around to get invites to go places with me. He never explicitly says he wants to do something so sometimes I wonder if I'm reading too much into things. But I'm almost certain he was gauging whether going home with me for a holiday would be a possibility. He then mentioned this Christmas was a big one since he's turning 30...my response was a joke about not forgetting his age. He keeps thinking I'm older than 2...

Do any of you feel like your taste buds have COMPLETELY changed since surgery??? Growing up, I never liked spicy food.  A little black pepper was all I could ever take.  Mexican was usually the last thing I wanted to eat. My "go to" food these days though is typically a taco bowl.  I think Banker is going to get sick of tacos...I've made them for him two of the last three times I cooked.  I also love McAllister's Chicken Tortilla soup (200 calories for the whole bowl) and have recently gotten into chili beans.  Most of those foods I wouldn't have TOUCHED a year ago. Here's a link to copycat McAllister's soup ...I haven't tried it yet, but I'm sick of paying $3.75 every day for something I can make cheaper at home.  And yes, I have seriously eaten this almost every single day since starting my new job.  I'm planning to make this over the weekend, I will let you all know how it goes! I guess I eat such small portions these days that I REA...

1. I was too nervous to weigh myself this morning before my WLS appointment. This is yesterday's weight: 249.8 Starting weight: 344.4 Total Loss: 94.6 I was afraid I was going to gain because I totally pigged out, but I weighed in right at 251 at the Dr office (with clothes on) so I wont complain. 2.  This was my last adjustment appointment that I will see my WL surgeon. At my next appointment, my PA will be back from maternity leave and I'm so excited! I haven't seen her in 8 months and I hope she will be proud when she sees what I've accomplished since she last saw me. 3.  This morning I got my friend to get tickets to see Jay Z in January. When I told Banker, he was obviously very disappointed I did not ask him. C'mon, the show is in January?!  Am I supposed to plan that far ahead with a guy I have a crush on and am not dating?  Yes, I'm totally twitterpated with him, but I get scared to ask him to plan something that far out......

Has anyone seen my motivation? I sure haven't. I was looking back at my weights since mid-July, and I really haven't lost anything these last six weeks.  I need to do something to change that.  I've switched to the 200 calorie meals every three hours as Dr. Yoo suggested, but no change. I don't think I'm doing anything particularly bad, food-wise. I've just been LAZY. Have I thought about running?  Sure. Have I gotten my ass up and done it?  Nope. I don't know how to motivate myself right now.  I haven't lost interest in losing weight/being healthier, but I think it's harder now that I feel more comfortable in my skin.  I've gotten complacent I guess.  I need to fix this, but I don't know how. I'm scheduled for another fill on Thursday.  Problem is, I don't think nutrition is my problem.  I think not getting off my ass is my problem. I got super dehydrated last week, and saw this weight but didn't post it becaus...

For those of you who watch SCANDAL, my hair/outfit in this post are going to make a lot more sense to you. 'Abby' with jello shot and birthday drink! 2 Abby's (A and Me) ...with orange rind jello shots in our mouths. "The clients"...I'm on the 2nd row, 2nd person Me and Patrice....aka Olivia Pope! I love this picture, compared to the ones below from last year.... Yesterday was my good friend Patrice's 26th birthday.  Patrice is known for her ridiculous parties.  Last year was 'Bar Golf'.  We played 9 holes...which meant going to 9 different bars and getting a different drink at each bar.  Needless to say, we did not make it through the night.  Here's a couple of pictures from that adventure in 2012: Holy smokes what a difference one year will make! Those pink pants last year were a size 26.  I bought them the day before the party because I had nothing that fit.  The skirt I wore this year wa...

Sometimes it's the smallest things that can make me smile. Mr. Banker is home from visiting his family.   And my spirits are instantly  lifted. I drove him from the airport to my house for dinner. When we came inside, he handed me a bag with what I could tell was a shot glass. It says "Got Lobstah? Rhode Island". When I read it, I smiled and he said it made him think of me because we are constantly joking about his accent. I wasn't expecting him to bring me anything, but I thought this was a particularly thoughtful/cute little gift. We had dinner and laughed and had the best time together. I can't stop smiling tonight. During dinner, it occurred to me that he has NEVER said anything negative to me about my surgery.  He is so supportive.  I hadn't made a game plan for dinner, I figured we'd figure it out after he got here.  He was starving, so I made a few suggestions, and he let me choose because he said he understood ...

I cannot wait to get to my goal weight and maintain for a lot of different reasons, but one MAJOR reason is so that I can start considering a Lower Body Lift. While my skin is not THAT bad by most other people's standards, it really bothers me (and I'm still 50 pounds from goal). So, how do you know when you have a skin problem?  (for me anyway) Today, I went for my monthly Brazilian, and the Wax Specialist asked me to pull the skin on my lower tummy (upward) to make all the skin less loose.  Yep, that's embarrassing. Excess skin is my current enemy.

Good morning!  It's almost 2am and I can't sleep, but I am in the mood to blog, so I finally stopped trying to fall asleep and dug out my old college laptop, it's so much easier to write a long post on a real keyboard. So tomorrow I will start my second week at the new job.  There are some good and bad things... The Good:  The people are really nice, I can tell I'll be working with a really knowledgeable group of people.  There are also enough other new people that I wont feel alone in being lost.  My study lead seems very nice, and told me anything I want to learn, she will help me get set up to learn it. The Bad:  Complete lack of organization.  I was assigned to a rescue study-this means another CRO (Clinical Research Organization) had it and screwed it up, so it's my CRO's job to save it.  It's an Oncology study--in theory, the idea of curing cancer is cool, but Oncology studies in my previous experience are hard!  The database I'm ...