Ever heard "It will get worse before it gets better"??
Well, that's exactly what it feels like to take antidepressants.
When I took antidepressants for a 3-month period in 2011, the beginning was horrific. My PCP accidentally prescribed a very high dose (150 mg) instead of the starting dose (37.5 mg). She told me she was putting me on the starting dose so I pushed forward and made it through those two weeks of hell to the other side and never checked the bottle to make sure I had the right dose. I can only describe what I felt like was a living zombie. I went to work and could do nothing but stare at the screen, in the moments I could keep my eyes open. I slept A LOT for two weeks. But then I came out on the other side so much better. I joke that it was the quick, difficult way, to find the effective dosage for me.
So Thursday when I got prescribed 37.5 mg of Effexor XR, I was sure to check the dose on the bottle. It was, in fact, the right dose. So I thought it would be easy breezy to start compared to that high dose.
I was wrong.
I feel pretty damn bad. But I believe I need them enough that I'm going to push through this rough time until my body adjusts.
Friday I woke up nauseous, never threw up, but I wanted to just to get rid of the feeling. I went to work but had a hard time focusing, and eventually fell asleep on my desk. At that point I decided it was just time to go home at 3:30! I only work til 4 most days anyway because I go in early. Got home and had a nap for a few hours before going out for Sara's birthday. And wanted to be in my bed again by midnight, but luckily I survived until I crawled into bed at 3am. I hope it doesn't take the full two weeks to adjust to this lower dosage.
I do see a light at the end of this dark tunnel at least.