Friday, March 7, 2014

Blue

I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions.  I will not eat my emotions. 

Instead I'll write about them.

I am feeling a little blue today.

I woke up crying this morning, and I didn't know why.  Then on my way to work, I thought of my friend who I have the tattoo on my neck for, who passed away two years ago and cried again.

Then upon logging into facebook, and seeing his mother's facebook status, I realized today was actually the anniversary of his death.

I miss his smile.

He had an infectious happy personality.

He was truly one of my best friends when we were younger.  We drifted apart during college but he was still one of the best platonic male friends I ever had.  I will never forget our fun times, our inside jokes that I can't share with anyone else, or our absolute inappropriateness. 

I was driving home on March 8 two years ago when I got the text that told me Tyler was gone.  I had to pull my car over on the side of the road and call a friend who was out of state.  I couldn't allow her to find out on facebook because they were also very close.  Telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I still remember sitting there shaking.

I miss you Tyler.

June 4, 1988 - March 7, 2012






3 comments:

  1. Thinking of you. Hoping your day gets better. I know the feeling of losing someone much too young and the overwhelming emotions that come along with that. Let your light shine through your sadness.

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  2. I'm sorry for your loss Hollee. I hope you get the time you need to let the grief out today - and that blogging about it helped a a little. I was given that advice today - so it is on my mind - the need to not bottle feelings up, but carve out time to actually let them out so we can move through them. xo

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  3. Oh, so sad! Sorry you had an sad day and hope you can smile thinking of all your fun times together.

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