Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

  Wednesday's Weight: 247.2 Today's Weight: 247.0 How the hell did I NOT gain?!   On Thanksgiving, I did great during the meal.  But it's the leftovers that killed me! I may have had 2 pieces of Red Velvet Cheesecake for dinner at 8pm Thursday night. Oops.  Slap my wrist now.  Bad Bander. Oh well, it's a new day. And what a wonderful day it was. I woke up early this morning, too early.  I was excited that I'd be seeing Mr. Banker today, so I couldn't sleep in like I would have liked to. Mr. Banker had to work this morning, but came over right after work.  While home for Thanksgiving, I had my dad cut down some mistletoe for me and I carefully placed it above my front door.  Mr. Banker and I walked through the door together several times today, so I got plenty of extra smooches. I had made lunch, you know what they say...the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  I made my grandmother's chicken pie, gr...

  Well....this might be a really bad idea, but I've decided that a pre-Thanksgiving weigh in might help to keep me accountable over the holiday. While at my parents' house, I will not have a scale though, which scares the crap out of me! So, I'll weigh in over the weekend when I return and let you all know how it goes. Also, this is not my lowest weight since surgery, I'm about 5 pounds away from that.  HOWEVER, this is definitely the lowest number I've seen in 2 months, so I'm happy. 3 or 4 weeks ago I literally saw 260.2 one morning and thought I was going to die. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Do your best to chew slowly, enjoy what you eat, but don't over eat! :)

Hope you all have had a great weekend!  Mine has been awesome :)  Lots of doing nothing with a couple of short runs thrown in, which is exactly what I needed. Friday morning, I had a text conversation that really touched my heart.  Mr. Banker apologized for how he has treated me during this time that he's been depressed and said that I'm the last person who deserves to receive the bad end of it.  That meant a lot to me, not only was he apologizing, but also acknowledging that I really do a lot for him.  It didn't stop there though, he made sure to call me on his lunch break and say it again, so that I could hear him say it.  I love that.  I have always loved how well he communicates.  Yes, sometimes he shuts down and doesn't say anything.  But when he does speak, I trust what he's saying.  He never apologizes just to pacify me, so from him, I know an apology is genuine. So after work Friday night, he came over to stay the night. ...

1. I got another fill this morning: 8.3 CC in my 10 CC band.  I was disappointed she only had me losing 3 pounds since I saw her 2 weeks ago, my scale said MUCH more, but I'll get over it.  It's a loss, hooray. 2.  Insurance sucks right now.  I don't want any political talk, but seriously, I'm so frustrated right now and don't know what to do!  My work insurance went up about $50 a month.  That isn't going to break me or anything...the problem is that the benefits associated with it went WAY DOWN.  The deductible doubled, cost to see a specialist doubled, maximum out of pocket doubled.  So yeah, I'm looking elsewhere for insurance.  I believe I found the plan I'm going to go with, just a little nervous about doing something different. 3.  I feel so inadequate at times. 4.  I have therapy today.  This should be great fun (sarcasm here) because I have some negative feelings right now about #3. 5.  I had really horrif...

Hey everyone! Tomorrow is 2 weeks since I started the anti-depressant Effexor XR.  A lot has been going on, but some of the things, I just haven't wanted to talk about.  Am I feeling better?  Hell yes.  Have I lost weight?  Yep!  Am I where I want to be?  No, on both the 'feeling better' and 'weight loss' fronts. So, yes, the Effexor has helped my mood, but I'm on such a low dose, I think I could be doing better on a higher one.  Unfortunately, my PCP asked me to wait until the first week of December to increase my dose.  Trust me, I'll be calling her office for that prescription ASAP. A part of my lingering funk is that Mr. Banker is still a little down, and it rubs off on me.  I care about his well-being in a way that I haven't cared for someone in so long.  I love him.  I don't understand how love can be absolutely freaking amazing and still suck at the same time.  It's this decision to give someone your heart and...

Hi Guys! It's been a while since I've had an NSV post. Yesterday I went shopping and bought these size 14 skinny jeans at Lane Bryant.  Yes, I do still shop there from time to time.  Now, the NSV part of this is that at 344, I never wore skinny jeans, because they just never fit right.  So here's to my first pair of skinny jeans, to go with my brand new UNC booties :) What's even better is that this $59.99 pair of jeans rang up for $6.49.  Why?  The salesgirl could not figure it out.  I was going to buy as many more pairs as I could find in size 14, but the other 14's did not ring up at that price, so I just got this pair. My weight loss is going better.  Once I hit that "lowest weight since surgery" number I will start my weekly weigh-ins again.  I'm getting close.

By that I mean my mood is UP and the scale is DOWN!!! YES!  Can I get a high five? lol I'm feeling good.  I don't know if the circumstances are just suddenly better or if the tiny dose of Effexor I'm on has taken effect, but I feel very good the last couple of days.  I haven't felt this good in a couple of months.  I am not 100% adjusted to the antidepressant, but I have started taking it at 4pm, so the worst of my side effects happen during my sleeping hours so it's bearable.  I've worken up at 4:30am nauseas, and so tired the last few days, but it is gone by the time I start work. Things seem so much better with Mr. Banker.  Maybe things were never actually as bad as I perceived them.  Either way, I missed this feeling--the ease of it and the happiness I feel just hearing his voice. Tonight he said "I love your body" as a response to a picture I sent him.  I needed that validation that he is physically attracted to me.  It made me fee...

I'm not sure if it's possible that my antidepressant could be having an effect already (day 4), or if it was just a good day, but I'm feeling very positive today. Woke up and my scale looked to be going in the right direction.  I didn't take my antidepressant right away because I was going my friend's son's first birthday party and didn't want to feel horrible for it.  I waited until 5:30pm to take it so I really got to enjoy the day without nausea or feeling extremely tired. The party was really good and I felt pretty for the first time in a LONG while.  I'm thankful to finally have had a good day.  It's the first completely positive day I've had in longer than I can remember. Just me before the party. I didn't want to post photos of the party (with the baby) without my friend's permission, so you'll just have to deal with my vain selfie. Thank you to all of you for continuing to read and support me through t...

Ever heard "It will get worse before it gets better"?? Well, that's exactly what it feels like to take antidepressants. When I took antidepressants for a 3-month period in 2011, the beginning was horrific.  My PCP accidentally prescribed a very high dose (150 mg) instead of the starting dose (37.5 mg).  She told me she was putting me on the starting dose so I pushed forward and made it through those two weeks of hell to the other side and never checked the bottle to make sure I had the right dose.  I can only describe what I felt like was a living zombie.  I went to work and could do nothing but stare at the screen, in the moments I could keep my eyes open.  I slept A LOT for two weeks.  But then I came out on the other side so much better.  I joke that it was the quick, difficult way, to find the effective dosage for me. So Thursday when I got prescribed 37.5 mg of Effexor XR, I was sure to check the dose on the bottle.  It was, in fact, th...

 I had a really good appointment with my WLS PA this morning.  I know I just saw her 2 weeks ago, but I am going crazy with hunger and haven't lost a pound.  In fact, this morning I weighed 255.2 on the official scale.  WRONG DIRECTION HOLLEE!!! My PA- Erica- sat me down and explained that after extreme weight loss, the body can start to produce an excess amount of Ghrelin. I suspect many of you know what Ghrelin is... I was introduced to the word in my pre-op nutrition class, but in case you dont:  Ghrelin is a hunger hormone.  Your body produces it to tell you that you're hungry. So I've lost all this weight, and basically my body is freaking the fuck out.  My fat cells are like "Oh my gosh, where did that 90+ pounds go?!  We need it back!" The good news is that Erica says this typically doesn't last more than 3-6 months.  Erica tightened my band again- I now have 7.8CC so please cross your fingers this is going to be the adjustment I...

Today I had my first therapy session. I have been to therapy once before, but it was very different. I was there for grief and depression related to my ex, so I knew exactly what to talk about to get to what I needed to work on. This time, with general depression, I had no clue where to start.  So we talked about a wide range of things. Some things I hadn't thought of in probably ten years. Without summarizing the whole visit, the therapist did make mention that I only smiled three times- talking about my dog, my sisters, and Mr. Banker. It was a pretty good session. So I have three more weeks of free therapy to try to work through the dark fog in my mind. And, with the therapist's full support, I am going to my general practitioner tomorrow for anti-depressants. I took them once before and they made all the difference. FYI, for those of you on anti-depressants, Effexor XR is known to promote weight loss. Many others cause weight gain. My only problem is that I'm absolutely...

Completely not Weight Loss related in any way, but... I have mentioned it before, but I really do have some very good friends.  I don't see all of them all the time, or even talk to some of them on a frequent basis, but every now and again, they will pop up and remind me that they care.    Over the last 24 hours I had three friends pop up with random acts of kindness, and I really needed that right now. Thank you Sara, Rebecca, and Keli. This week is my friend Sara's birthday.  I try to wish my friends a 'happy birthday week' at the beginning of each birthday week.  I do this because I want them to know I'm thinking of them...to know that I am not doing it because my phone calendar or facebook reminded me, but because I remembered them.  So I wished Sara Happy Birthday Week and later in the evening she wrote a public post on facebook to thank me for thinking of her.  This was a simple thing to do, but it reminded me that people are sometimes...