Friday, March 29, 2013

Mixed feelings

With My Mom on Thanksgiving


My mother is a beautiful person...inside and out. She's 45 years old and can be the nicest person you have ever met, or slice you in half with her words if it is deserved. I always take it as a compliment when someone says I look like her, unfortunately I don't think I'm very much like her as far as personality. In December of 2011 my mom had a pretty serious health scare, that resulted in a bad blood infection and a diagnosis of Type II Diabetes. I never would've thought my mom would have diabetes so young, she eats fairly healthy, and compared to my dad, she should be the healthy one. Unfortunately all 4 of my grandparents have/had diabetes so in the end I won't be surprised if both my parents and myself have it. But the surgery is a great prophylactic against getting it for me.

When I was doing research on the surgery, I read the statistics of Type II Diabetes cure after Lap Band is around 70 percent! That was mind blowing to me. So, about a week before surgery, I suggested my mom look into it. I've never thought of my mom as very heavy (current BMI is 36%) but I want her to be as healthy as possible. Her severe sleep apnea and diabetes scare me. She seemed offended that I mentioned it, so I dropped the subject and intended to never bring it up again.

Last week when she was driving me to the airport she told me she's considering having Lap Band. I truly feel that this surgery was the best decision of my life, but I suddenly hope she doesn't do it! What is wrong with me? I want to be supportive, but it's so hard. Being banded is much harder than I ever expected it to be. I just hate to think of my mom going through everything I've gone through. No matter what I will be supportive of her decision, she does not know about my blog. But I just really want to understand why I feel this way. I think it's because my life has been much harder after surgery than I expected it would be. I'm not sure if I PB more than the average person, it's not something I want to discuss with my doctor, but it happens enough that I try to be extra careful when I eat, especially in public/at work/with Robocop, etc.  I hate to think of my mom dealing with it the rest of her life too.  They know how often I PB, I feel like every time I am at my mom and dad's house even for just a day I end up getting sick more than once.  In the end, I know it is her choice and I will not say anything to discourage it.  I just have very mixed emotions about seeing my mom go through this.  Although she's had such bad side effects from her diabetes medications that I'm not sure a few PBs would be worse.

It just seems like such a drastic decision to make for someone who wants to lose 40-50 pounds.

So tell me what you think...do you think Life After Lap Band has been easier/harder/exactly what you expected?! Please tell me your thoughts...

11 comments:

  1. I think those are totally valid concerns. Being banded is much harder than people think it will be. But I think a little bit of it can be within our control. I've actually never PB'ed, and only get stuck maybe once a week (not counting my high altitude trip). Getting stuck daily sounds like an overfilled band. Yes, weight loss can be slower with a looser band, but for me personally, I prefer that over getting stuck and/or PB'ing all the time. Talk to your NP and see what they think?
    If you don't want to show your mom your blog, maybe send her this? http://jenslapbandjourney.blogspot.com/2011/12/things-they-dont-tell-you-in-seminar.html It has some pretty honest info about life with the band.

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    1. Or ignore me. Sorry, sometimes I come off really bossy.

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    2. I don't PB every day, but I think my parents' house is a high stress place for me, which causes me to PB. I appreciate you giving me the link to Jen's blog, I may send this to her. I just want to be supportive but give her all the information too, you know?

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    3. We were actually talking about this exact thing at lap band support group last night! High stress environments and the band. One of the girls in group said she tells her family to not plan meals around her, since she eats different things anyway. And just takes shakes or yogurt with her to their house.

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  2. It was harder than I thought it would be....but I would do it again in a heartbeat...it is still worth it to not be overweight. Just make sure she has the information...she is a big girl and will make the right choice for her.

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  3. It is a little harder to lose the weight than I thought it would be, but life with the band is definitely not harder for me. It can be hard to anticipate it's fickleness sometimes, but that seems more like a minor inconvenience to me. I am happy she is considering doing what it takes to get rid of type 2 diabetes. my dad is currently dying from renal failure as a result of type 2 diabetes...it aint pretty. There is no quality of life left for him. Please feel free to ask her if you can go with her to the doc. they will tell it to her straight and you can make sure to ask all the right questions so that she gets the whole story. So proud of you for loving your mom enough to want to protect her. She raised you and she can do this too.

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  4. Hey Hollee, just got your comment on my blog. I am in Greensboro and had my surgery here. Sorry I can't give a recommendation in Charlotte. We are pretty close to each other! If you are ever this way, we could do lunch!

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  5. I think because I read and researched so much before I got the band that I was prepared for everything that my way. I have two friends/coworkers who got the band after me. Neither one of them read a thing or did any research on their own. I think this journey has been much harder for them that it was for me because they didn't truly know what to expect. They thought they would get the band and just start losing weight...neither one of them realized that the band is there to help you, but you have to do the work. Even if you don't want to share your blog with your mom, maybe you should share some other blogs or websites to help prepare her.

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  6. Sounds to me like you might be overfilled. I think I was for a bit... really, a couple of months. And was pb'ing a couple of times a week and getting stuck several times a week. No good. Got some taken out and felt defeated... and then lost about 10 lbs. Yeah.. TOO tight! I find that living with the band is really... normal. When I'm not too tight, it's hard to tell it's there. I do have to eat slower and chew more, but not insanely. But when I was too tight I was somehow thinking I needed to be tighter to lose more. OY VEY. My nurse told me last visit that about 20% of patients are having problems because they're too tight. And so I had them take out a bit as a precaution.. then dropped more lbs. I'd be closer to goal if I were exercising more, but as it stands right now.. Living with the band is about what I expected. Maybe your mom should think about the sleeve? That might be a good option. But you might think about a slight unfill, too :)

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    1. I read your blog about this...I have a terrible fear that less restriction = more weight GAIN. :( not sure how to get past that...

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  7. I just found your blog through another blogger - glad I did. Anyway, I'm 8 years post lap-band and every day I am glad I had my surgery. I've probably had less than 10 PBs, which is pretty good considering how long I've been banded and most of them occurred when I was pregnant and needed an unfill but my insurance was jerking me around. I agree with a PP that I think you can do better with the band, or any of the other bariatric surgeries, if you are educated and do your research. In our case, the band is a tool so you have to use it as one, just like someone uses a dietician or Weight Watchers to help them lose weight, those are tools. It took me a year to decide on lap-band and even then the surgeon tried to talk me out of it and do gastric by-pass and I'm glad I stuck to my guns on it as I've been very happy with the results.

    Keep up the good work! And I am looking forward to reading more of your blogs.

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