I try very hard to stay positive. It has been difficult lately. I feel like I'm struggling to lose anything. Part of it is my fault, I only did zumba two times in the last 10 days. But I have hardly eaten! Honestly my band and I have not gotten along since my last fill, so I would've expected some good news. I stayed on protein shakes for days, and avoided 'slider foods'. I'm debating whether or not to keep my fill appointment for Thursday (I say this every time, don't I?).
Anyway, so here's the small light I finally found this morning, after days of frustration:
I was carrying my dog's food upstairs this morning. It's a heavy bag. And when I got to the top of my stairs, I was definitely winded. I looked to see the weight on the bag, 30 pounds! THAT'S ALL? I was out of breath from carrying 30 pounds upstairs, when previously I'd been carrying an extra 67 pounds up those stairs on my body every single day? Wow. So I got to thinking about it, and I feel so much better than I used to. Everything is so much easier. And it only gives me more hope of how much easier things will be on my body when I'm at goal, 70 pounds from now.
So I've decided to slow down. Stop rushing.
I have been really successful up until this point, and I'm still doing the same things, so I have no reason to believe I'm just going to stop losing weight. Although this has been a serious fear of mine. Does anyone else worry about the tool not doing it's job anymore? Honestly, that is part of the reason I kept my surgery so secretive before. I was afraid of failure. Now that I've "come out" to people about the lap band, I guess those old fears are re-surfacing.