Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

If there is one thing I've learned, this journey is all about overcoming mental challenges, changing habits and ways of thinking.  When I'm able to change those things, the rest follows. Growing up, when I ate at my grandparents house, we were forced to finish our plates.  Nannie (my grandmother) called it making a "happy plate", and if we didn't, we were in a lot of trouble.  Leaving the table without finishing your food literally had consequences.  As a result, all of my adult life, I have done this.  In fact, I have always noticed a difference between my plate and others... my plate was really always clean when I finished eating.  No morsels to put in the garbage disposal or trash, usually nothing to rinse off before putting in the dishwasher.  This has been an incredibly hard habit to break.  When I eat at home, I'm usually okay, because I just put a lot less on my plate and am able to finish it.  When I eat at a restaurant, this is m...

That's a .2 pound loss since last week...guess its better than nothing...

Before I start, just a disclaimer that I don't think this is a real "problem" per se, just something to think about.  I've never been really big into tattoos.  I have always said that whatever tattoos I get need to be able to be covered by my dress on my wedding day because I am not going to be an inked up bride. But shortly before the superbowl, I took a good friend to get a tattoo that she'd been saying she would get for some time.  Then 2 weekends ago, while my best friend was visiting for the weekend, I also took her to get a tattoo.  Both friends got their tattoos on their rib cage.  I thought this was really attractive and it gave me ink envy. I got my first tattoo when I was 18.  It is the Tarheel foot on my foot, for the university I attended.  I got this with pride as I was the first in my family to attend/graduate from a 4 year program.  Thankfully it is on my foot so it didn't stretch with weight gain/loss.  So this wa...

Today's Weight: 277 No change from my fill on 1/31/2012. I was disappointed to find out this morning that my PA (Erica) who usually does my adjustments was not there.  And unfortunately, she will not be doing my adjustments for quite a while.  She's pregnant, so she can't be around the Fluoroscopy machine.  I have gotten used to her, and I also just feel that she is better at listening to me.  I can basically tell her what I want, and as long as she agrees it is medically safe, she will do it. So now, until Erica has her baby, my surgeon Dr. Yoo will be performing my adjustments.  He had a little trouble accessing my port-- I could see the needle bending inside of me (ew!).  And he also only gave me 0.3 cc adjustment.  I am going to miss Erica for sure!  Anyway, I wont be going back again until after my trip to Europe so hopefully I will get off this plateau before my next visit. Before going, I was really afraid of getting fus...

I try very hard to stay positive.  It has been difficult lately.  I feel like I'm struggling to lose anything.  Part of it is my fault, I only did zumba two times in the last 10 days.  But I have hardly eaten!  Honestly my band and I have not gotten along since my last fill, so I would've expected some good news.  I stayed on protein shakes for days, and avoided 'slider foods'.  I'm debating whether or not to keep my fill appointment for Thursday (I say this every time, don't I?). Anyway, so here's the small light I finally found this morning, after days of frustration: I was carrying my dog's food upstairs this morning.  It's  a heavy bag.  And when I got to the top of my stairs, I was definitely winded.  I looked to see the weight on the bag, 30 pounds!  THAT'S ALL?  I was out of breath from carrying 30 pounds upstairs, when previously I'd been carrying an extra 67 pounds up those stairs on my body every single day?...

It's always a good idea to take some time to detox.  Sometimes I do a water/protein shake diet for a couple of days to reset my body.  But honestly, that's not the kind of detox I want to talk about today. I think just as important for this journey as changing your eating habits, sometimes you need to change other things too.  Some of you had to quit smoking (and that's awesome that you did!), some of us had to start working out, and some of us needed to get rid of people in our lives that are just toxic! Years ago, I dated a guy who was very obsessed with health/nutrition/working out.  You would think this would be good for me, and I guess at the time it was a motivation to get in better shape.  The problem was, he never made me feel like I was doing enough.  Things between us didn't last long, but we remained 'friends'.  I use that term loosely, because I think a friend should make you feel BETTER about yourself, not worse. About a week after s...

HAPPY FAT TUESDAY! Today at work, my awesome coworker made a King Cake for everyone.  I got a tiny piece to test the waters, and I was able to eat it!  So I went back for a normal size piece and I found the baby inside!  For anyone who doesn't know, finding the baby inside the king cake is good luck for the year. Looks like it is already bringing me luck, because I was able to eat my lunch (No PBing)!  I've eaten a lot today, but I suddenly feel a burst of energy and it's great. My stress hasn't gone away, but I did lose 2 pounds since last week (today weighing 275.2) so maybe that's what has helped me eat.  Regardless of WHY I'm able to eat, I'm happy.  Tonight is my cousin's birthday, so we're going out for dinner.  Hopefully I'll continue to be able to keep my food down for this evening :)

The number one thing that makes my band too tight.... STRESS Instead of needing an unfill, can someone give me something for anxiety?!  LOL I think I've figured out that is what's wrong.  It's been 10 days since my last fill and I've eaten 5 meals successfully.  I really do not want to get an unfill, because I can eat...sometimes.  I normally LOVE my job.  I love the people I work with.  I love what I do.  I love that my job makes a difference in sick people's lives.  But lately, I have not loved some external factors.  And I really think the stress of it is affecting my ability to eat.  I did pretty good eating over the weekend.  But then last night I started feeling somewhat anxious about this week's work and tried to eat dinner.  No solid food dinner. On the up side... what makes my band loose?  ALCOHOL 3 of the 5 meals that I was able to eat successfully during the last week were after a few drinks....

No change in my weight since Thursday. Unfortunately, asking for an aggressive fill might have been a bad idea.  I'm unsure.  Sometimes my band is so fickle.  Since Thursday, it has been very hard to eat, except for 2 occasions.  On Sunday, for the Superbowl, I definitely overate.  I even ate a cupcake, which completely surprised me because I can almost never eat any type of carb like that.  Then last night, I made tacos and ate 2 tacos.  Aside from those two meals though, I have PB'ed almost at every meal. For those of you who are pre-surgery or don't know, PB stands for "Productive Burping".  I don't really think this is a good description of what I do, because a lot of times I end up sticking my hand down my throat to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling.  I'm at work right now debating which is worse-- how uncomfortable I am right now, or having coworkers hear me get sick.  It's pretty embarrassing to get sick at work... i...

...and I'm still sticking to my New Year Resolution!  That is probably about 20 days longer than I've ever stuck to a Yearly Resolution before!  So...what was my 2013 Resolution? ..........   Yes, that's right, to take the stairs.  I actually made this resolution in 2011 and didn't stick to it.  In fact, I don't think I EVER ONCE did what I said I was going to do that year.  But this year is different.  I'm 67 pounds lighter so far, and it is A LOT easier to walk up the stairs to my desk as opposed to taking the elevator.  I was so serious about it that I've written it on my whiteboard at work where I write my weekly tasks to be completed. Anyway, I know it is a small resolution, but I don't make big resolutions.  And little changes help :) Also, I was looking at photos last night and wanted to share something.  Look at the difference in my face from last year to this year (sorry the photo quality on both pi...