I apologize that this is Non-WLS related (98% anyway) but I needed to put my thoughts out there. I wont be offended if you don't want to read about my personal life.
On April 16, 2010 I met Max Brutus and soon after, fell in love. I thought it was perfect. I was happier than I'd ever been. On August 16, 2011 everything that had made me happy in that prior year was exposed as a lie when I went to his apartment and met his wife, and found out about his son he'd also forgotten to mention. Surprise!
I never quite recovered from that. My heart was truly broken and I had to take anti-depressants for a few months to get myself to a place where I could focus on my life and work, and find some sense of normalcy again. Needless to say, dating wasn't easy either. I dated but most guys never made it past the first date.
So when I met Robocop (as my friend affectionately refers to him) in the end of last year, I was surprised at how easy it was to open up to him. Everything was perfect. Although we only dated a short time, I was truly happy and I felt like I had finally found someone who was healing the hole Max left more than a year prior. I knew that since Robocop was divorced and had 3 children, I needed to know early on whether or not he was open to having more because that is a huge criteria for me. I'm only 24. I have a great career, I'm a homeowner, everything in my life is in order so that I'm ready for that next step-marriage and kids. So we discussed it and he told me he would like to have another child but would have to have his vasectomy reversed. We had this conversation on more than one occasion.
Last Wednesday, something negative happened in our relationship but Robocop and I both agreed that we wanted to work things out and it wasn't worth ending things over since there was no one to blame. Then Friday he started to seem distant and didn't communicate with me at ALL on Saturday. Sunday communication was limited so I knew what was coming.
Monday morning I get to work and get a FACEBOOK MESSAGE letting me know that after some time to think about what happened, he isn't sure he wants to work things out. And he has come to terms with the fact that he does not actually want to have more children.
I feel really sad... I feel mislead... I feel like I invested so much in this guy and am blindsided that this happened. It sucks because it took me a year and a half to find someone I even wanted a second date with.
A part of me feels like the kids thing was a cop out. And I can't help but wonder if other things factored in...like my lap band. I know he had a problem with it. He wouldn't directly say it but little things he said told me he did. He always made remarks about how I don't eat. And last week we were talking about Halloween and he was making suggestions on what I should dress up as this year. It occurred to me that I have no idea what I will look like by Halloween and I expressed that. He responded that he hopes I don't lose anymore, or not much. I let him know that's not an option. By Halloween it is very likely that I will be at my goal weight or at least VERY close.
Can't help but wonder if my Lap Band factored into this decision for him.