Thursday, September 15, 2016

Failure?

Today my trainer called me a failure.

It's been 5 hours and I can't sleep.

All he sees is that I've been at the gym for 2.5 months and haven't lost one pound. That's right.... Not one effing pound. On HIS nutrition plan.

Which I've felt wrong about since the beginning.

So I finally made an appointment to see my surgeon. He confirmed what I already felt. 1900 calories is too many. He told me to cut them down.

But he also said I'm doing great and i might have to come to terms that this is the healthy place that my body wants to stay. And I should be happy with that. Easier said than done, but I'm in a MUCH better place than I was 4 years ago before surgery.

Sooooo.... then I went to the gym tonight. Before class I gave my trainer a little summary of today's appointment. He was not at all happy with being told that his nutrition plan was wrong for me. Then he took it a step too far. He told me that he has 10 other weight loss surgery patients and I'm not only one not losing weight. The conversation ended there.

Workout begins and I'm feeling some type of way about the previous conversation. And that feeling just builds. Until I'm running and trainer and I have a second alone so I nonchalantly let him know that his comment bothered me.

After class was over, I wanted to let him know why. So I told him that comparing two weightloss surgery patients is unfair. We each have different circumstances, different surgeries, different surgery dates. I'm not the same as someone who is 12 years or 6 months out from surgery. Instead of backing off he told me he's only with me for 3% of the day and he can't control what I do the other 97% of the day and maybe I'm not losing because I'm not trying hard enough. And he doesn't want me to keep failing because that's a reflection on him.

Fail?!?! Me?

That's hard to hear as the 344.4 pound woman I used to be.

I don't even know where to go from here. The truth is, I'd probably quit today if I didn't have a contract. I do not want to see him. I don't want to high 5 him as I work out. I really don't know what to do....

9 comments:

  1. Either ask for a different trainer for the rest of the contract or prove him wrong. Try a different "diet" or lesson calories! He's rude! I'm sorry that happened to you.

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    1. He's the only trainer at the location closest to my house so I'm stuck with him. Ughhhhh

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  2. I would not work out with him again. Based on the comment alone, "he doesn't want me to keep failing because that's a reflection on him." That right there shows that he is not in it for you or to help you. I have a trainer too and he is there to help and encourage me not to put me down. You do not need someone putting you down. That is ridiculous. Even if you are in a contract I would think that whoever owns that gym would be willing to let you out or would at least want to know the type of person this trainer is.
    Keep your head up! You are doing great.

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  3. Nope! Nuh uh! I would absolutely not work out with him again. Even with a contract, there have to be alternate options. Saving some cash is not going to be worth being uncomfortable, or being made to feel like a failure. If you can't travel to another location that has different trainers, I would speak to the gym manager and see if they would let you switch your contract, because of the situation. I am assuming you paid in to a training contract and not just a membership? Maybe they can just switch your contract to the base membership with no training included? At my gym, the training sessions are always add-ons.

    The fact is your trainer works for YOU. They should never make you feel uncomfortable or like they don't give a rat's ass. Blargh! That makes me angry.

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    1. It's a membership, not a training add on. The way the gym works is that it's group lead training and we meet with the trainer individually twice a month. Soooo yea I'm really stuck with him... :(

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  4. That is very unprofessional of him to say that to you. Since you have to stick it out with him, just kill him with kindness - when he gets out of line, call him out on it. Don't be a shrinking violet - you are a strong woman and you know your body best. And I agree with your surgeon - I've got lapband and there is no way physically I could do 1900 calories a day, unless I was drinking my calories but otherwise, my max is usually between 1200-1500.

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  5. I would mention to management how unprofessional this trainer is. Its not about him, its about you. If he can't handle being contradicted by a medical profession then he shouldn't be doling out medical advice (I consider nutritional planning medical). Also he should be working with you to figure out what works for you and your body, not try to use a one fits all philosophy to wait loss.

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  6. To be blunt he was a complete hole. It was totally unfair to make those comparisons, and as a so called professional he should have know better, and yeah, the fact that even your surgeon confirmed that what this man was trying to have you do wasn't effective should have opened his eyes.

    Clearly he is narrow minded, and his intentions aren't truly to benefit those he is working with or he wouldn't be such a stone wall. He put you in a tough situation and I'm sorry. If I were You throw that egoistical bull crap right back in his face, "oh, x amount of people are having success, well why are you dropping the ball with me, isn't that more of a reflection on you actually, how about you actually come up with something that actually accommodates me?" Honestly that would take a lot of courage and I wouldn't say any of that of that, but I understand your grief with situation.

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  7. Listen to your body. Listen to your surgeon. If you don't want to quit then set your own goals and work towards those. He can not make you weigh, or show food diaries or even talk about your weight. You hired him and all you owe him is money. Go and workout and tell him you aren't interested in his weight loss advice. "No time to talk today, let's just workout!" Good luck and stand your ground or quit. You always have choices.

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