Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Kids say the Darnedest things...

It has been a long time since a child commented on my weight.  I had almost forgotten the feeling.  How hurtful it is, even when they don't intend for it to be.

Mr. Banker and I went to the beach for memorial day with his best friend's family, including his wonderful godsons.  On the way to the beach, the oldest godson --he is 7-- rode in the car with us, and made a comment about how I was bigger than Mr. Banker.  I was at a loss for words and was glad that I was wearing sunglasses so that they couldn't see me cry.  I know it was not at all his intention to hurt me, but I thought I'd gotten to a point that I wouldn't have to deal with things like that anymore.  At 5'9, Mr. Banker and I are the same height and I only weigh about 10-15 pounds more than him now.  Mr. Banker corrected his godson and told him it wasn't nice to comment on people's weights, the conversation ended and when we got out of the car Mr. Banker had a private conversation with the little boy who came up and apologized for hurting my feelings and hugged me.

I suppose he made up for it, because although they call me "Miss Hollee" and him "Uncle Banker" (insert name in place of Banker), the older godson said something that showed he is beginning to think of me as family.  I was talking to Mr. Banker's family about my nephew and the older godson interrupts and says "wait... which nephew?  me or ...younger godson...?"  I explained to him that I have another nephew that he'll get to meet next weekend, but it had me grinning from ear to ear.

Older godson also gave Mr. Banker a speech in the car about how if we are having a baby, we should be married and even told him how he is supposed to ask me.  He was full of suggestions for baby names including "Pete, Bob, Alvin, Tom and Jerry"--we asked for boy names since we're pretty set already on a girl name.

I really do adore Mr. Banker's family.  Especially the two godsons.  They melt my heart every time I see them.

Yesterday morning, younger godson --he's 4-- told me he wanted to show me something, but it was upstairs.  So I went upstairs with him and he stood on the bed and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek and proceeded to tell me that was all he needed to show me.  Do you guys understand why these kids have me like putty in their hands?

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Do I look pregnant?

Am I in denial that I look pregnant? I didn't think so but yesterday I wrote here that I don't and a blogger informed me that I do? I don't mind if I do considering I am pregnant, I just really don't see it?
((Left in the black bathinsuit was the night before my initial surgery at 344.4 pounds))

The photos in grey were taken this morning.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Pregnancy + Weight Update

Sooooooooooo... THIS happened this morning?!

I don't know where that came from, but it is nice to see while it lasts.  I know that at some point during this pregnancy, the scale is going to start increasing and it won't stop until sometime in November.  I will just have to get used to that.

Friday, Mr. Banker and I have an anatomy scan to determine the baby's gender.
We will have the sonographer put it in an envelope and then take it to a baker to bake us a gender reveal cake.  Then we have to wait a whole week (+2 days) for our gender reveal party!!! UGH!  But I'm so glad we're doing it, because Mr. Banker initially said no.  I guess he realized in the last couple of days that making me happy was worth the wait.

Isn't it strange to anyone else...the idea of finding out the gender of a baby when I'm not even sporting a bump? Not at all...not even a little.


Here's a picture from the weekend and I don't look pregnant at all...granted the pattern on the dress probably makes it hard to tell!

Monday, May 11, 2015

A mother's love.... a father's.....?

I believe it's true that a mother's love is unconditional. I love my mom, she's one of my best friends. I know that she will always be.

My father on the other hand was horrific. I don't even want to talk about it. Instead of focusing on my father, I'd rather praise my child's father. He knew it was going to be tough so he made sure I'd come home to happiness. While I was at my parents house, he came to cut my grass and left me roses. Mr. Banker had never bought me flowers before, so he had me grinning from ear to ear. Then he brought me sushi for dinner. He brought me so much happiness yesterday. That's truly the caring man I needed yesterday.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Breaking the News

Sunday, after all of the mother's day festivities, I'm going to tell my parents that I'm pregnant.  I'm nervous and scared, but in a way, I'm just so ready to tell EVERYONE.  Then I can blast it from the rooftops if I want to.

I've played it over and over in my head.  How I will tell them.  I've thought of long explanations and short ones, and I just don't think I can make it through the longer version.  I feel like all I can get out is "I'm having a baby and I'm due in November" and then I will let them ask anything else they want to know, instead of preemptively trying to explain.  I'm an adult, I shouldn't really have to explain myself, but my parents are difficult and I know this is going to be hard.

Please send me positive vibes or prayers....

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Another Year Older...

Another Year Healthier!!

It was a wonderful birthday, just wanted to share a few photos from my trip!
Feeling kinda ballsy to put a photo in a bikini up!

We went sailing on a katamaran on my birthday.