Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

1. Happy Thursday!  My band is tight.  For the last 7 days, I'm not even sure there's still a leak.  I know that sounds weird, but I am so tight I PB everything if I'm not incredibly mindful when eating/drinking.  Yes, drinking.  I know it's going to sound weird, but I'm loving the restriction.  I love the feeling that this band is working for the first time since last September. 2. Life has been mostly normal. Work, Home, Repeat. Work is busy busy busy. There are 3 phases to my job: 1. Study Start-up. 2. Maintenence. 3. Database Lock. The first and last are the hardest. Well, don't you know I have one study in Database Lock, 2 studies in Maintenence, and one study in Study Start-up. I am SWAMPED! 3. Please don't take that as complaining though. I like being busy. 4. The insurance company is supposed to let me know about my appeal for revision by July 7. I wish they would hurry! 5. Last week I had some pretty intense port pain. We do...

Sometimes the most profound relationships in our lives are the ones that are strictly platonic.  They are the ones that you should know will ALWAYS be there, because they love you and they don't have that added element that confuses things. I met 4D in April.  We didn't meet on the most platonic of terms, but within a month it became clear that I just wasn't his type physically and I respect that.  I'm not going to pretend I think he is a saint, I know the good, the bad, and the ugly about him.  But I can say with a fair amount of certainty that he's one of the few I've known in my life that I'd categorize as a "good man".  He doesn't always do the right thing, in fact, he screws up just as much as the rest of us, but he seems to do things with the best of intentions and treat other with respect that I haven't observed with many men in my life. At the same time, he's hard.  He's tough to get along with, and his friendship is oft...

I used to blog almost daily but I haven't had much to say on the weight loss front.  I know you all don't want to read about how I'm NOT losing weight.  Or how I'm twiddling my thumbs waiting to hear back from the insurance.  But that's what's going on. I had a great week last week.  My family was here from California.  My sister and nephew, and my sister's boyfriend.  My nephew truly has my heart, especially after 7 full days with him.  He's four years old and so very smart.  I realized during his visit that nothing makes me happier than his love.  I have baby fever so bad right now.  It makes me want my goal weight SO bad, so that I can have a baby when I get there.  Here are a few photos from our time together:

Has anyone else used Model My Diet ? I decided to do a 'Before/Current' compariason of myself.  Here she is.... or um, I guess, here I am: When I look at the girl on the left, I definitely think that is me before surgery.  A pretty accurate representation of myself at 344 pounds.  But then there is the girl on the right... that's what I'm supposed to look like right now?!  I don't see it.  I'm not sure whether it is the app or my eyes that are distorted. This was a few weeks ago at Disney, and I think I still look more like the model on the left than the one on the right.

I started a Ten Things Thursday post this morning, and one of my first numbers was about how crappy my week has been.  I took a break from my list and signed into facebook to find that an old friend from college had passed away. So I guess my week hasn't been that bad, I am sitting here breathing and relatively healthy. I'm kind of in shock.  This guy wasn't a super close friend or anything, but rather someone that I always saw at parties or had the occasional lunch with, but his infectious smile on campus when I would run into him would catch me and brighten my day.  He had posted a few days ago about getting a new job and when I saw it I 'liked' the post, and thought to myself:  man I miss that guy. I guess even more the shock that he is so suddenly gone is how he died.  He had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia while having his wisdom teeth taken out.  It's so unfair for his family.  I'm not sure if you all remember me talking about i...

"Insufficient evidence of serial nutritional compliance." That's their reason.  They might as well have written "We are looking for a bullshit answer to tell you no." I hardly ever get mad.  But right now, I'm PISSED. My PA actually thinks this is great news though.  She thinks it's a small victory.  They didn't mention my BMI being too low, or having no comorbidities, and since it was not mentioned, they cannot change the reason later.  She thinks this is easy to dispute, because if I wasn't complying with the nutritional guidelines, I wouldn't have lost weight.  No one loses 110 pounds by eating cake, ice cream, and chips.  We all know this right... apparently BlueCross BlueShield of NC doesn't realize.... They will submit an appeal today with documentation of nutritional visits from the past as well as another letter from my PA documenting my typical eating habits.  If there is no news, my doctor will personally set up a peer ...

I don't feel like I have a ton to talk about right now, but I'm feeling down in the dumps.  It's a lot of different things, but my weight plateau is NOT helping!  I wish the revision would just come through and be approved, that would make my life feel a little better right now. I'm at sorts with several friends. First the friend I talked about in a previous blog about refusing to like my work contest photo and saying she is sick of me asking... she read my blog and apparently deems it worth ending our friendship over because I was 'childish' for posting on my blog about it.  Maybe I didn't convey enough that I was upset with her, although I tend to assume after knowing me for 8 years you should know that me saying goodbye mid-conversation is a good indication that I'm upset/hurt, but she also doesn't think anything was wrong with her response to me either. Also at sorts with another friend.  She had been quiet for about a week, which is unusua...