Hollee's Weight Loss Success Story ((in progress))

  I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Donna for introducing me to MyBariatricPantry.com !!!!  They sell protein powder by the tub or in samples (as well as other products).  I chose to go with 35 different samples. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I've always been the "I hate protein powder" type of girl. Not anymore. So I wanted to share that with you. So far I have tried: Syntrax Nectar Roadside Lemonade Syntrax Nectar Chocolate Truffle Syntrax Nectar Caribbean Cooler Matrix Mint Cookie  (mmmmmmmmm) The Matrix Mint Cookie seriously tasted like a mint chocolate chip milkshake (but melty).  I bet if I put it in a blender with some ice, it would be as good as a milkshake. I will be buying that one in the huge tub!  All have been great so far though! Also, every single morning it seems like I see a new lower number! Eff yes!

Losing weight is the best thing I have ever done for my career. I'm the same person and hard worker I was before, but I'm more confident. And let me tell you, fat discrimination exists.  I know it exists because I've experienced it.  I still experience it sometimes, but not as much. About four years ago, when I was interviewing for an internal promotion at my first CRO (Clinical Research Organization), I was told that I was a horrible interviewer and not very articulate.  There may have been some politics behind that, but regardless, that statement stuck with me. So it feels incredibly good to know that is not true, at least now.  THIS Hollee, is not a horrible interviewer, because THIS Hollee has now gotten two job offers 24 (business) hours after an in-person interview: in August when I changed companies and again now.  I must be articulate.  I must be likeable.  I must leave people with the impression that I care about  my career and will do whatever job I have t

I've been busy since Ten Things Thursday.  I have to stay busy or I will lose my mind. Thursday I went to the UNC vs. dook game.  It was AMAZING!!!  And honestly I feel so thin and pretty (comparably) in the photos from the game!   We were trailing most of the game, but somehow, UNC came back to win! TAR HEELS!!!   The bottom photo is my favorite, as the fans rushed the court in celebration! Friday, I took a personal day from work.  I didn't get home from the game until very late. Then I had what we will, for now, call a 'meeting'.  Thank you for all of you who sent positive thoughts and prayers.  I should have some 'results' from the meeting soon.  I'm still praying and keeping my fingers crossed! Saturday, my friend Kelly gave me tickets to the UNC/Wake Forest basketball game.  It was really a lot of fun.  UNC really kicked booty. The rest of the weekend, I spent painting.  I have officially finished.  Or at l

I will NEVER. EVER. go on another food date with someone who does not know about my lap band. Ever. Especially not a first date. So tonight I go on a date. Guy is nice and cute. Conversation is nice. Until he mentions I've hardly touched my food. I was pushing it around my plate and taking little bites but my plate still looked full. But who says something about that! But I was stuck. And the bathroom line was LONG. Fuck. When he went to get me a take out box, it was coming, like it or not. I threw up in my napkin and down my shirt. All over myself. He didn't notice....I don't think. I'd be shocked if he did notice, considering he still tried to get in my pants. Good thing he didn't put his hand down my shirt. For the record, I wouldn't have gone home with him even if I hadn't thrown up/slimed on myself.

1. I have something big happening tomorrow, and I am not going to specify, but I need your prayers, positive vibes, good thoughts, whatever you feel like sending my way please! 2. I had my last appointment with my PA this morning prior to port revision!  18 days until they replace my port.  And I got a 1.5CC fill today.  I weighed 242.4 at the WLS office this morning.  No change really. 3.  It's official, my PA also let me know that I will absolutely need to take 3 weeks off from Bootcamp after surgery.  Super bummed about this. 4.  An old friend of mine is moving to China.  She was someone who was there for me during a rough time and we drifted apart.  I hadn't spoken to her in over a year, until she emailed me last weekend to ask if I wanted some of her stuff.  I went to her house today, she wasn't home, to pick up the things I wanted, and it made me so very sad and miss her friendship.  I tend to believe that people have a 'role' in your life, and when thei

I've never been one for words.  I find it hard to express certain things verbally.  When it comes to work, logic, or politics, I'm one of the most articulate people you will ever meet.  But when it comes to telling someone how I feel about them, I get tongue tied and can't find the right thing to say.  I can write about it all day long, or tell a friend how I feel about that special someone, but when it comes to telling the object of my affection, I become an unintelligible goofy girl.  Maybe that's why I told Mr. Banker I loved him in the middle of the night half asleep. The fact that I have trouble with words has always made me strongly value actions.  Have you all heard of the 5 love languages? Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Receiving Gifts Quality Time Physical Touch I'm sure it is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I give and prefer to receive love via "Physical Touch".  You can click that link above to take the quiz and find out y

I have lived in my home for almost 2 years.  I have wanted to paint since the day I moved in, I couldn't stand the horrible eggshell color all over the house, but just couldn't bring myself to paint when I knew the whole house was painted only a month before I moved in. This weekend though, I had to change that.  I needed something to keep me occupied, physically and mentally.  And painting is really a cheap way to 'make over' the home, so I got started.  I know these photos aren't the greatest, but it's hard to take house pictures!  My new lavender dining room.  See my perfect little model?! The mocha wall extending from living room into the kitchen :) That color to the right on the wall with the window and door is the color the WHOLE house has been for two years.  It was boring, and not very "Hollee". I have lots more to do, but I think I've made good progress!

Scheduled! And... Insurance Approved! So, I will be going under the knife again on March 10th to have my Lap Band put back to it's 'like-new' condition! I don't even know what tricks my doctor's office employed to get the insurance company to approve it, but I'm so happy they did! Now, when I originally discussed this with my PA, she told me it wasn't possible for them to do a port revision with a low-profile port because the only way to get one would be to open a whole Lap Band kit...but I know from lots of blog reading that some of you out there have had port revision from a standard port to a low-profile port for cosmetic reasons, so I KNOW it is possible to get one! So...being the astute and persistent person I am, I called up Apollo Endosurgery this morning (the company that bought the rights to LB), and asked.  Guess what?  The low-profile port CAN be ordered separately and only takes two days to arrive.  So yeah, I'll be getting one of t

  Back yard in the snow. You know what sucks about a snow day? There's lots of time alone, inside, to think.  It really isn't all that great for my mind right now.  I tried to get a good friend to come get snowed in with me, since he works fairly close to my house, but he chose to go home instead.  It ended up taking him 3 hours to make the 30 minute drive home.  That's what he gets, haha!  Oh well, what's done is done, I'm stuck inside and alone until this storm passes. I hope I make it through being snowed in with my sanity.  After 3 hours of snow, I had about 6 inches.  The snow is still coming down fast now (after 4 hours) so I have no clue how much I'll end up with!  I'm expecting it to be crazy... And for those of you who don't understand the stowmagedon phenomenon in the south... this photo is about 10 minutes away from my home on a major highway:

When I looked in the mirror this morning while brushing my hair, I noticed my bat wings weren't flapping as much as usual. So I took a photo to compare to a picture that I took prior to starting bootcamp. This is the difference JUST 4 WEEKS of Bootcamp has made. Can't wait to see what 4 months will look like! Here's the FULL picture: I feel good and confident.  Sexy even.  Except one thing... My lower tummy skin. In case you're thinking "oh it's not that bad", take another look: That's Just skin hanging there.  UGH!  I really hope Bootcamp will help that, but I'm really not sure.  It might just be too much. Sometimes I feel so self conscious that any man will only see that when they see me without clothes.  When I see this, I get so angry that I let myself get to 344 pounds.    But...it is what it is I guess.  I'm doing my best to correct it.  I just will never allow myself to go back.  I can't

  I am trying really hard right now, but I am not doing very well. It's so strange, because I truly had a great week.  Monday I went to bootcamp, Tuesday I went to a basketball game, Wednesday was my grandfather's 80th birthday party, and last night I went to a friend's dinner.  I haven't gone to bootcamp much this week, so maybe that is part of what I'm missing emotionally, but I am really struggling. I feel completely emotionally drained and beat down lately.  I have upped my antidepressant dosage to 150mg per day, which is the dose I was on for the 3 months I took it several years ago.  But there's really not much relief lately. I'm just really not okay.  As much as I'm holding it together on the outside, on the inside I'm falling apart.  

I have another post in mind today, but I'm pretty excited about this so I thought I'd share. Guess it will be a two post kind of day! In other news, the bitchy administrator at my WLS office didn't submit the paperwork for my port revision to the insurance company until yesterday! Ugh. That's nearly a week since it was supposed to happen. It will be denied most likely but they were going to try some "coding tricks" to get it to go through.

  See those piercings on my back? Yeah, they are like the cherry on top of my recent badass-ery.   I've been debating whether to post this for a little bit, and had decided I wasn't going to share with you all, but after a scare last night that they were going to need to be removed, I decided to go ahead and share with the world while they exist, who knows for how long that will be. Besides, I feel kinda hot in the above pic, so I shared! These types of piercings are called dermals or dermal anchors.  They have a base or anchor and sits under the skin and does not come out unless you want to permanently remove them. There are 2 risks with this type of piercing: 1) The body can reject them at any time 2) The body can 'consume' them while healing if they were pierced too deep, which basically means the skin would heal over them My scare involved THINKING the latter option had happened, but in fact the 't